No Idea

Update from last week: the library and their IT contact relented, so I once again have access to my blog. Sort of. I can post and view comments from Blogger, just like last week. I just can't view the blog. To do that and to leave comments, I have to leave Blogger and go directly to the site. Then it's okay. I considered telling the library and getting the problem fixed, then decided to just live with it. If we get Blogger involved, they might take a harder look at Shapeshifter Seductions. I don't want to mess up anything else. Besides, this only happens at the library. If I go to Sheetz or Starbucks, none of this applies.

So here I am, for the time being. Freedom of speech wins again! And so does humanity. This is the first time the library admitted human beings were responsible for the blockage, and got actual people to fix it. Before they used to whine, "It's the computer program, not us. There's nothing we can do." Why? Did Skynet take over while no one was looking? I'll bet I could watch The Terminator online at the library without any problems, even though it's rated R and has a sex scene. Obscene amounts of violence is still not considered obscenity. America, land of contradictions.

# # #

This is where the blog proper should begin. Or the blog improper. Remember, last week a computer program labeled this as Pornography. This week we're clean. And stumped. I have no topic to write about. No problem, really. I'll just do what I usually do: ramble until I make word count. That method hasn't let me down so far.

How about a nice, annoying whine? My first venture into self-publishing didn't go so well. Would promotion have helped? I have no idea. I wondered on a writers' site if I should join Facebook, but was told that only helps if you have a ton of followers to start with. Someone else said I had an "unfortunate" cover and need one that looks more professional. No way I'm going to tell Serena that. Another person agreed with me that the romance genre is currently saturated, especially on Amazon, where romance readers can get their fix for 99 cents. I've already documented my experiences trying to hunt down copies of Nocturne books, Harlequin's paranormal line. Apparently individual Nocturne books are only available online now. I notice RT Magazine doesn't review the Nocturne line any more. Maybe paranormal romance has reached the saturation point as well.

Meanwhile, here's a self-pubbing story from the other end of the spectrum. Some guy whose name I can't remember wrote a book called The Martian. It's hard science fiction, about an astronaut marooned on Mars and his efforts to survive. The author wrote it because he's fascinated by the science aspects and wanted to write a story that would be scientifically plausible. He initially posted it chapter by chapter on his blog, for free. People wrote in asking for an ebook version. He self-published on Amazon and charged 99 cents. People bought the book in droves, even though it was free on his blog. It became a bestseller on Amazon. Then on the New York Times. Then Random House bought the print rights and put out a hardcover edition. Then Hollywood called him up and wanted the movie rights. The movie version, starring Matt Damon, will be out in October.

"I don't have anything to do with the movie version," the author was quoted in an interview. "My job is to cash the checks."

I'm trying to be happy for the guy, I really am. This is the Cinderella story all writers dream will happen to them. The guy had written other things but never had any success. Then out of nowhere, pow. By all accounts, it's a well-written book with an engaging protagonist. It certainly struck a chord with a ton of readers. All without any sex scenes, I assume.

I haven't read it. I hadn't even heard this story until earlier this week, at the same time I was being told why my own self-published book had gone nowhere. In all honesty, when I read the synopsis the first thing I thought of was that old '60s movie, Robinson Crusoe on Mars. (Adam West has a bit part in it. I kid you not.) I don't know if I'll ever read it. Even though I like SF, hard SF was never my thing.

Mostly I'm sitting here stewing in jealousy and wrestling with self-doubt. All I ask of writing is to earn enough money to cover my bills so I don't have to look for a job. (I'm a woman over 50 who'd need medical benefits. Those start going up in price once you're over 50. The odds of me getting a job that pays a living wage with benefits aren't looking good in this economy.) I don't need the lightning strike. A near-miss or two would work out just as well.

It didn't work with paranormal romance. What do I do now?

What I'm doing now is an almost total rewrite of the story I just finished. I wrapped it up, let it sit for over a week, went back and reread it and decided it was missing something. I'm hoping the new version's better. I'll be sending it to a new (for me) publisher under a pen name. It's a paranormal romance. Wish me luck.

After that, I dunno. Maybe it's time to switch genres. Shake things up a bit. Writing something different might get the excitement going again. That energy transfers to the writing. The readers do pick up on it.

I could try those Stephen Kingish horror ideas I had in mind. Nothing beats writing horror when you're depressed. I could focus on the YA. Or mysteries. I like mysteries. Or straight comedy. Or gay comedy. I've got a M/M contemporary romcom in the works. Sooner or later, something has to hit. And if it doesn't … well, I'll always have this blog. At least until the library blocks me again.

I Dood It!

It's alive! My first-ever self-published novel, The Mountain Lion King, is now available through Smashwords and Amazon! Smashwords has already started distribution, so it should also be available through Barnes & Noble, Apple, Kobo, and a ton of other ebook vendors. I'm focusing on Smashwords and Amazon because they have the name recognition, and those are the places where I uploaded.

Brief blurb: Mountain lion shifter Rick Donnelly lives alone on his Montana mountain and likes it … until he finds himself defending a Bengal tiger bride who ran away from her intended husband. Hubby is a piece of work who's out to kill them both. Rick and Bari fall in love. It's a paranormal romance of the shapeshifter variety and yes, it does have a happy ending, psychotic tigers notwithstanding.

This book began as random posts on Shapeshifter Seductions. Click on the link to hop over there and read the full commercial. The blog you're on here is my Author's Notes, continuing my account of how and why I ended up self-publishing.

I believe I've mentioned the reasons before, but here they are again: I self-pubbed as a legal courtesy to my fellow Shapeshifter Seductions authors. We've created a shared world over there, and this book is set in it. I used concepts and a couple of characters in my book that were created by others. If I'd gone to a regular publisher with this, copyright problems might arise, lawyers would get called in, and everybody loses. Therefore, by mutual agreement, any book set in Talbot's Peak needs to be self-published. Sorry, Matlock, no court case for you this week.

Last time I blogged I was wrapping up the formatting. I ended up skipping the linked Table of Contents because I couldn't get the damn thing to link correctly. If done right, you click on, say, "About the Author" and it jumps you to the back of the book and the author bio. Mine wouldn't jump. After wrestling with it for a good chunk of the morning, I decided just having a ToC was enough. A lot of readers don't bother with all that stuff in the back of the book anyway. If they want to read it, it'll be there when they get to the end of the book. If you can't wait, well, that's why keyboards have a "Page Down" key.

With formatting as done as I could manage, I went to the library, got on Smashwords, set up an account, and sent my baby into the world. Forget what I said last week. Uploading was surprisingly easy. Far more easy than the formatting, but that was my first time. I think I spent more time wrapping my head around the instructions than I did actually formatting. If you're going to self-publish, follow the instructions in the Style Guide. They work. At least, they worked for me. My file shot right through the system with no reportable errors. Good thing I decided not to link the Table of Contents.

And that was that. The book went live on Smashwords almost immediately. I enjoyed about twenty minutes of first-page display fame before other people's books knocked me off, but that's how it goes. The book has been manually checked and approved and is being shipped off to vendors as we speak.

I'm hoping there are no problems. I couldn't check my Epub file because even though I installed the Adobe Digital app, my laptop wouldn't open the file. I'm sure if there had been problems Smashwords would have told me. If you get an Epub version and it has issues, drop me a line, okay?

Uploading at Amazon was similarly smooth and problem-free. It took me longer to fill out all the paperwork than it did to upload the book. That one I was able to preview, and it looked okay. I now officially recommend skipping a linked Table of Contents.

My book was up on Amazon in less than 48 hours. I already have an author page over there, so I've added it to my backlist. Now all I have to do is market like crazy, which includes promo like this blog. Then sit back and watch the money roll in.

Yeah, right. Since I hit "upload" back on Monday, I've sold exactly one copy, and that was to fellow SSS writer Rebecca. Thanks, Rebecca, I do appreciate the support, and when your novel comes out I'll buy a copy because I've read your excerpts on the blog and it's damned impressive. You can write, woman! Thanks also to Savanna and her editing assistance. Savanna gets her plug in the Bonus Chapters. There is no link from the Table of Contents. Sorry, you'll just have to scroll.

I don't know at this point how my sales will go. I could do okay, or sink without a trace. Even if you go with a regular publisher, that's the chance you take. Right now it's way too soon to make predictions. Remind me in six months and I'll give you an update.

# # #

Since this wouldn't be a proper blog by me if I didn't bitch about something, I'll leave you with this: Amazon is only paying me 35% royalties. It used to be 70% for a self-published ebook, but that changed on January 1 of this year. Something to do with tax laws in Europe. Amazon still offers the 70% option, but only if you're exclusive to Kindle. If you want to sell elsewhere, as I did, you have to sacrifice your percentage.

And what, pray tell, does Amazon do to earn the Lion King's share of your money? They display your book on their virtual shelves. That's it. Amazon does not pay you for the right to publish your book. They do not provide editing. Their upload system does provide stock art and the means to create your own cover if you don't have one already. They will do some promotion, but only if you're selling exclusively through them, and only if you're selling a lot. The more you sell, the more they make, so the harder they'll push your (or is it their?) product. Self-fulfilling prophesy again.

The rest of us are basically paying to have our wares displayed on the world's biggest retail site with the most name recognition. My largest percentage of sales do come through Amazon, so I can't discount it out of hand. But a 65% cut of the take when I did all the heavy lifting and they're just providing a venue? Over at Smashwords, the author can earn royalties of up to 80%. Trouble is, even Smashwords admits not many people buy from their site. Smashwords sales come mainly from their distribution outlets. Those royalties are still higher than Amazon's grab.

My final recommendation: if you choose to self-publish, go exclusive with Amazon for the first few months, until sales start to drop off. Then switch to the lower royalty rate and self-pub with Smashwords for wider book distribution. That's what I'll be doing with my next self-published novel, which may not happen for a while. My next book will be through a regular publisher. Let somebody else do the editing, marketing, and cover artwork. I'm a writer, not a small business.

Or maybe we should be a small business. I'll have to talk it over with the other Shapeshifter Seductions writers and see if we want to be publishers. Ellora's Cave is practically extinct, so there's a void someone could fill. But then we'd have to call in lawyers. Never mind.

Home Stretch

Success!

Almost.

After lots of panicking and even more foot-dragging, I'm finally on the brink of creating my first self-published book. I've been working my way slowly but surely through the manuscript, following the Smashwords style guide. Why Smashwords? Because they distribute to more outlets than Direct2Digital, and I want my masterpiece available in as many markets as possible. Direct2Digital does the formatting for you, but I think they also take a bigger slice of your pie. No thanks. I want every penny that's due me. Anyway, if I get good at this, I can charge other newbies to format their books. Always think ahead.

Yesterday I put in chapter heads and learned how to create centered front matter. I'm turning into a regular tech wizard. Yay, me!

So what esoteric secrets have I learned that I can pass on to you, the eager would-be self-publisher? Glad you asked.

Formatting the basic manuscript is amazingly easy, once you know which buttons to click. I use the 2007 version of Microsoft Word, and it's so kind to Luddites like me. That's for the overall format, though. One of Smashword's pre-prep steps involves stripping all previous formatting out of your file, to make sure no hidden garbage slips through. That includes any bold or italics you might've used in the text. Now me, I'm a big supporter of italics, especially for dialogue emphasis and to indicate a character's thoughts. Too bad. All that's gone. I ended up having to go through all 132 pages, putting all the italicized words back in. My characters won't be thinking quite so much in any future books.

(Fortunately, here's where my obsession with print copies comes in handy. My ancient computer-and-printer combo system, the Troglodyte 1000, is so old it still indicates italics with an underline. All I had to do was flip through the pages and look for underlines. Here's to the old-fashioned methods!)

But wait, there's more. The manuscript, the actual story you're looking to tell, is only the beginning. If you're like me, you've got a couple paperbacks (or hardbacks, if you have a job) on the nightstand next to your bed. Pick one up and flip through the opening pages. See that page with all the Copyright By and Published By and We Own This So Don't You Steal It stuff on it? That's front matter. The blurbs, too. And the quotes from reviewers. The Table of Contents goes in the front, but I'm not sure if it counts.

Front matter, especially all the legal weasel words, is required by Smashwords. Leave it out and they won't accept your book. And it all has to be formatted. During my first attempt, I forgot about this part. I was going along, blissfully formatting my book file, when it got to the part about front matter and how to create a specific style for it. Style for what again? Oops. I had to put formatting on hold while I came up with a whole new section of the book. Then I had to learn how to create and change styles so I could format that. See how tricky this gets?

This is the kind of stuff a regular publisher handles. All you the author have to do is write the book. Well, guess what? You're the publisher now. Coming up with front matter is your responsibility. So is editing, proofreading, book design, formatting for upload and procuring a cover. Still want to self-publish?

Back matter is easier. For starters, you don't have to include it. However, it's still a good idea. Back matter is stuff like About the Author and Visit My Web Page and Here's a Bunch of Other Books I Wrote. If the readers like your book, they'll want to know these things. They may even want to buy your other books. The Smashwords style guide includes instructions on how to make hyperlinks within the book itself, so readers can jump straight from your Table of Contents to the back sections. I haven't attempted that yet. I just read the instructions a little while ago. Once my brain stops hurting I'll read the instructions again, then bite the bullet and give it a whirl. Pray for me.

Keep in mind all this is still the preparation phase. I haven't even tried to upload yet. That comes with its own set of problems. If the system doesn't like all that formatting you put it, it'll tell you about it. Then you have to figure out where you messed up and fix it and upload the book again. Then you have to check all the versions Smashwords produces to make sure they all look good. Who knows how long that will take.

I was hoping I'd be ready to upload today, because I'll be tied up this weekend. That's not happening now. I still have several tasks to master, like the hyperlinks. I'm not looking forward to that.

Once I go to upload, I'll want to set aside a couple of hours just in case there are problems. That means the library. I'll be damned if I'll hang out in a Dunkin Donuts on a Sunday wrestling with a stubborn computer program. After the first hour or two they might insist I buy something.

And this is just for Smashwords. What about Amazon? They don't offer a style guide. They won't even tell you squat until after you've signed in with your payment and personal info. That's why I'm going with Smashwords first. I should have all the kinks worked out of the file before I commit to Amazon.

I hear All-Romance Ebooks is tricky, too. Smashwords doesn't distribute to them, so I'll have to upload there separately. All for a book that may end up selling a dozen copies total, if I'm lucky. I love being a writer.

Those people who tell you, "Self-publishing is easy! Just write the book, click Upload, and you're done!" are lying. Next time somebody says that to you, kick 'em in the pants. I'll be back next week to tell you how I fared in the upload department. Either that, or I'll be in the national news as that woman who climbed to the top of the bridge in Harrisburg and hurled her laptop into the Susquehanna River. At least I'll get media exposure. The books I have out with actual publishers might sell better then. Every little bit helps.

Old Dog, New Tricks

Once again I find myself poised on the brink of entering unknown territory. In this case, it’s self-publishing. My first Talbot’s Peak novel, The Mountain Lion King, is almost done with the editing phase. (I should probably call it my first intentional novel, since our freebie offering, Love to the Rescue, just kind of happened. You can download that one from Smashwords. Just click on the cover to the right and follow the link.) As soon as it’s as perfect as my editing skills can make it, the formatting and the fun begins.

Correction: as soon as I quit dragging my feet.

I’m not in any rush to get to the formatting part. Months back, when we were putting Love to the Rescue together, I downloaded the Smashwords style guide and read through it. Several times. Mr. Brain realized how much work was involved and immediately went into panic mode. That gave my procrastination tendencies an excuse to come out and play. I formatted my copy of the file part way and then just gave up. Fortunately Savanna knows how to format so she put it all together for us (thanks, Sav!). Click on the cover over there and get ready for a roller-coaster ride of romance and adventure. For free. That should be enough plugs for one blog.

Meanwhile, I’ve still got a manuscript rapidly nearing completion, with the prospect of formatting looming before me. At some point I’ll just have to bite that bullet.

There are alternatives, I know. I can hire somebody to format it for me. And I would, except I’m cheap. I won’t pay big bucks for somebody to do something I know I could do myself if I’d just stop whining and get to it. I could take the file to Direct2Digital, which will format the manuscript for me, but they also take a higher cut, and they don’t distribute to as many outlets as Smashwords. I want all the pennies, or as many as I can get away with grabbing. Greedy, cheap and lazy. The manuscript’s not the only thing with issues.

Eventually the greed will probably win, even against the procrastination. It’s just fear anyway, fear of the unknown. Or fear of work. Because in order to master formatting, I’m going to have to work. I’m going to have to do something new. Dear God, I’ll have to learn something.

I don’t know why I’m so scared of this. I did make that earlier, half-assed attempt. Once I got started, the process wasn’t as confusing as I’d feared it would be. It had even begun to make sense. I think it was having to work at something that did me in. Lazy trumps greed, in this case.

Too bad. If I’m going to make it in the world of modern publishing, I should learn as much about the process as possible, so I can do it on my own if I have to. Because I’m also cheap and greedy, I already know I will. I’ll just keep editing while the cheapness and greed beat the laziness into submission. Then I’ll be ready to go.

At one point I was going to self-pub “erotica” (what they’re calling porn these days) on Amazon. I have a finished story I could have experimented with. Never quite made it to the formatting stage. In this case it was more Cheapskate Me than Lazy Me. I didn’t want to pay for a cover. That shouldn’t have stopped me from practicing my formatting skills on the file. I can still do that. I can put off formatting the book by formatting the story instead. Make procrastination work for you!

That’s where my self-publishing career stands at the moment. Lots of intentions, very little forward movement. For now. At the moment I’m in the process of updating the files with all the editorial changes I marked on the printed version. Sure, having a printed version is another form of put-offery. I consider it backup. If the laptop crashes, I’ve still got a copy of the full manuscript, complete with all the changes. Paper rules!

Deep breath. Okay. I’m ready now. Just have to finish the updates. Then read the Smashwords instructions again. Then go to the library to post this blog. Then screw around at the library for a couple of hours. Then watch TV. Don’t worry, I’ll get to it eventually. Trust me.

# # #

I did learn something this week and last, and I have my co-blogger Savanna to thank for it. Being too cheap to hire an editor, I sent the manuscript to the other Shapeshifter Seductions writers for beta-ing. Savanna’s suggestions pointed out more than random typos and shaky sentences. I really did need to put more emotion into the story. All of a sudden, I saw how. Several sentences got reworked to better reflect POV, and one paragraph went from “tell” to “show,” thus improving the story. These are things I’ll have to keep an eye on in the future, if I’m going to edit my own stuff.

Actually, it pays to have several eyes on a “finished” manuscript. People who aren’t as close to the story as you are will spot all the bloopers and blemishes you missed. This is what a good beta or a good editor does. You don’t want the readers doing it. Those are called “sucky reviews.”

So thanks to the other SSS writers, with an extra-special thanks to Savanna on top. You taught the old bitch some new writing tricks. The readers will benefit now, or whenever I get around to learning how to format. Hope you weren’t expecting payment. Like my manuscript, I am a work in progress.

Inch by Inch

It’s official: Little by little, I’m working my way toward self-publishing. I have a finished story. Yeah, it’s some porn I intend to slip past Amazon, but it’s a start. I’ve read the Smashwords formatting guide and practiced on a file, though I didn’t get around to uploading. Uploading a file is the only true test of self-publishing. The porn file is a lot shorter than the book I was practicing on. I’m hoping that means fewer glitches.

Why the sudden urge to plunge into the self-pub pond? Mostly for the shot at a little extra income. And I do mean “little.” I’ve been skimming through other writers’ self-publishing diaries over on Absolute Write. Some haven’t done very well. Others have. A lot are having better sales than I have, and I’ve got a publisher. I don’t know what that says about my marketing efforts, or my writing ability. I can see I have a lot of aspects to work on.

However, nobody’s earning in the Stephen King ranges, and I don’t hear about too many people making a living at it. Essentially, it works out to gas and grocery money. That’s fine. I always need gas and groceries.

On the other hand, there was the contestant on Jeopardy last night, the (male) romance novelist. He said he wrote his first book to get a couple extra bucks to pay for an engagement ring. His second book paid for the wedding. He’s been writing romance ever since. I’d love to know under what name, and for which publisher, if any. Enough success stories like these make the news to give the rest of us hope. In a lot of our cases it may be false hope, but it’s hope nevertheless.

What will I be publishing? My usual genres, romance and fantasy/SF. Any Talbot’s Peak novels I write need to be legit publisher-free because of copyright reasons. What happens if I write a TP book and it becomes a hit? I didn’t create that world. Guess we’ll worry about that after I actually finish one of my TP books. I also have over a dozen old fantasy short stories I wrote and had published in magazines and anthologies back in the ‘80s and ‘90s. I’m pretty sure I own the copyright to those, but I can check with the publishers and make sure. A little reworking and I can put them up on Smashwords and Amazon for a buck apiece. Anything I get from those is gravy.

And, of course, the porn. I think I may have finally come up with a name nobody else has. All the Anita Dicks in the world are now safe. They should thank me.

# # #

Another minor concern came up while I was researching covers. There are sites from which you can download stock photos, and free formatting programs are available. However, I think I’ll leave cover design to the designers for now. For the Talbot’s Peak books we have two designers in the group, so I’ll turn to them when the time finally comes. Anything else, like those short stories or porn, I’ll have to buy a cover for. That’s okay; I have a PayPal account that’s just sitting there. Just as long as I don’t have to spend too much for it. I mean, it’s porn and reprints, after all.

Luckily, there’s a site called Fiverr where you can buy services for five dollars or so, and that includes ebook covers. I figure that’s good enough for porn.

I started looking into artists and their portfolios, and that’s where I hit a snag. Quite a few of those cover designers, especially those with the highest ratings, are home-based outside the US. We’re talking India and Barbados and places along those lines. It’s always India or Barbados. Why don’t graphic designers live in Ireland or Wales?

Normally I don’t object to artists making a comfortable living. That’s my goal, after all. But this hits a personal sore spot. My best job ever was a home typing job for a printing firm. I lost it when the company shipped it to India. I lived maybe three blocks away, and it was still cheaper to send the work overseas. A hundred and thirty women were cast out in the street. Years later I went back to work for that company again, as a copy editor. That job lasted less than a year when the company’s biggest customer decided to—yeah, you guessed it. That company’s gone now. Out of business. The whole industry, my main reason for moving to Lancaster County in the first place, is pretty much extinct.

That’s both the blessing and the problem with computer-based jobs. You can do them anywhere. When I see them being done in India, it triggers a lot of bad feelings. Therefore, no offense to any talented artists who might happen to live in or near the Pacific, but I’m going to buy American. Nothing but American-made covers for my porn. USA! USA!

Unless I find a cover designer from Ireland. My family’s mostly Irish. I don’t mind giving my green to the Irish. You guys rock!

That pretty much does it for all my excuses. Now all I need is the guts to take the plunge. When I do, you’ll hear it here first.

The Pen Name Game

But first, a word from our sponsor. If you’re into reading and/or writing romance, especially the erotic variety, you’ve probably heard about the big flap Ellora’s Cave is currently embroiled in. It started with a set of massive layoffs, and has since degenerated into allegations of non-payment to both editors and authors, lawsuits, and general animosity on all sides. I’m not an Ellora’s Cave author so I won’t go into the sordid details here. Google Ellora’s Cave, pick your favorite writers’ group or blog, and happy reading.

Like I said, I don’t have a horse in this race, but I know someone who does. Serena Shay, one of our Shapeshifter Seductions authors, recently sold a story to EC. She got her acceptance and signed her contract shortly before the first gobs of shit began to fly at the fan. There isn’t much she can do now other than fulfill her contractual obligations and hope it all works out.

So here’s what I’d like you to do. Serena has three books with Liquid Silver Publishing. You can find them at www.lsbooks.com/Serena-Shay-c226.php or on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Serena-Shay/e/B0055LUO3M/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1412267758&sr=1-2-ent. Instead of sending me your dollars, use them to buy one or two or all three of Serena’s books, because nothing cheers up an author like hefty sales. I’ll go back to plugging my own stuff and begging for pocket change next week. Okay? Okay.

# # #

As part of my campaign to get a million dollars, I’ve decided to take the plunge and go into self-publishing. I downloaded the Smashwords formatting guide and experimented with a story file. While I won’t be uploading that particular file (Savanna, who has self-pubbing experience, is doing that on behalf of Shapeshifter Seductions. Tons of thanks your way!), I found it wasn’t as hard as I’d imagined, and I learned a lot about my computer functions. I’m almost ready to try again, with a shorter story file.

Yes, it’s porn.

When it comes to self-publishing, it seems like everybody’s gravitating toward the same genres: romance, erotica, and flat-out porn. Why not? They’re popular. Your odds of selling increase if you hop on the widest bandwagon. Luckily for me, I found a niche that I can write with no problem, and it appears to have a large fan base. All I need is a cover and I’m set.

I thought buying or making a cover would be my biggest speed bump. Instead, another problem popped up (if you’ll pardon the porno humor): what name am I going to put on the cover?

It won’t be my real name, that’s for damn sure. Even though I don’t have a day job that I’d get in trouble with should my sideline become known, I’d still rather people not know I write this stuff. Bad enough I write sexy books. And that's another reason. I left my name intact when I jumped from mainstream to erotica, and from M/F to M/M. I didn’t realize at the time the audience wouldn’t jump with me. There’s such a thing as branding now. If I ever go back to mainstream M/F romance, I’ll have to start over with a new name. Ditto for this. I want to establish a new name in this niche, separate from my other stuff, to avoid reader confusion. Especially if some of those readers happen to be under 18.

I had a pen name all picked out. I thought I was okay. Then I googled my chosen nom de plume. Simple butt-covering. It wouldn’t do to have a real person find their name on a dirty book, and decide to sue.

If you think that wouldn’t happen, think again. There was a writer who had a childhood friend with an unusual name, and used that name in a book. The childhood friend’s younger brother had grown up to become a lawyer. They sued. There was a stand-up comic who met a man in California, and humorous incidents happened. When the comic got back to the East Coast, he added the stories to his act, and used the man’s real name. The man was 3000 miles away; who was going to know? Well, his sister, for starters. She was in the audience. I once drove cross-country, from Lancaster County, Pennsylvania to Arizona. Who did I wind up talking to? A couple from Harrisburg. It was a small world before the Internet. Now it’s downright claustrophobic. And lawsuits are yet another way you can get a million dollars, or so everybody believes.

So I ran my fake name through Google, just to be on the safe side. And wouldn’t you know, real people popped up. People on Facebook, with Zeus knows how many friends, some of whom might be cruising the over-18 sections of Amazon and find their buddy’s name and point my opus out to them and go, “I didn’t know you wrote porn.” I know I’d be upset if I found my name on a dirty book, even if I wrote it myself. Or if I had a job and my employer found it.

I’ve used pen names before, and will again (see above, under M/F). If the name I pick turns out to belong to an actual person, no biggie. The subject matter of those books is such that the real person might be momentarily embarrassed, but should be able to shrug it off. Self-published porno on Amazon is a whole different deal. It could mess with people’s jobs. If I own up to it, it could mess with my future, especially if I decide to go ahead with those YA books I’ve been thinking about. The name I put on this had better not belong to anybody else, anywhere.

I altered the spelling. No luck. Real people had that version too. I changed the last name. Nope. Still too many real people. I made up a name on the spot. Yup, somebody else has it already. C’mon!

I’ll probably have to come up with an obvious fake, like Anna Lingus or Anita Dick or Kris P. Kreme (actual pseudonym currently in use by another author). If I had the guts, I’d slap “Stephen King” on the cover, leave it posted for a month, then grab the money and run. I’d better make sure there isn’t a real “Anita Dick” out there. Bet her life has been a living hell.

ETA: I just checked and oh dear God, there are at least a dozen real-life Anita Dicks in the world. I also found Yvonna Dick and Yvonna Mann. Screw it. I’m going to use one of those. If these twits haven’t changed their names by this point, they deserve whatever gets attached to them.

(No Subject)

I don’t have anything specific to talk about this week, so I’m just going to jump around. We’ll start with an entry from the “Oh, the Irony” column. The local library’s running a promotion for Banned Books Week: get your photo taken with a banned book. Somebody else got Stephen King, so I went with Harry Potter. (By the way, have you seen that “fanfic” some alleged housewife is writing, that replaces all the references to magic in Sorcerer’s Stone with Christian ideology? In the first installment, Harry is rescued from his Godless existence and learns true Christian values. Common consensus among fandom is that this is really a satire perpetrated by one or more pro writers as a joke. Geez, I certainly hope so. Oh, and since Dumbledore was revealed as gay in the actual series, I suppose we can look forward to a priest-and-altar-boys subplot in an upcoming installment.)

While I was there, I told the ladies running the camera I write erotic romance, but the library’s content filter won’t let me access my publisher’s web site—in effect, banning me from viewing my own output. Their response was instantaneous: “There’s nothing we can do.” It’s the computer program, you see, not the fault of anyone human. I considered asking them who programmed the computer, but I suspect that would have been futile. Apparently the computer programmed itself and makes its own decisions independent of human direction, Hey, scientific community, look over here! The Lancaster County library system has successfully created AI! Terrific. Amish Country will one day be the birthplace of the Terminator. (“Come with me if you want to live, vunst.”) Now we can be famous for more than just buggies and Witness.

I forgot to mention how the filter fails to stop kids from getting into such fun sites as tips for growing pot indoors and how to build a pipe bomb. As long as you’re not having sex with stuff, the program thinks it’s okay. I did point out that the books the program’s designed to block are still readily accessible on Amazon. This revelation took them by surprise. In point of fact, you can still find flat out porn using the library system if you know which sites to look for.

Maybe instead of a computer program they should get that housewife “fixing” Harry Potter to flag sites inappropriate for children. That would reduce options to Teletubby fan sites and the 700 Club home page. I really need to get home Internet.

# # #

Over on our other blog, Shapeshifter Seductions, we’re in the process of putting the serial story together for self-publication. I downloaded the Smashwords style guide and read through it. Now my head hurts. I’ve been working with computers since the early ‘80s, worked for typesetting companies off and on for at least ten years, I’ve got Microsoft Word on my laptop, and I can’t tell you a thing about coding, fonts or typography. I didn’t pay much attention to that stuff. I was just there to type. Maybe that would explain why I kept getting laid off from these places.

But what really gets me is covers. I don’t know how to do graphic design either, in spite of that background listed above. I took a six-week course in Adobe way back when, but didn’t pursue it. How was I to know publishing your own ebooks would become a thing fifteen-odd years later? Who even heard of ebooks fifteen years ago?

I’ve also got a bone to pick with stock images. Covers aren’t created by artists any more. They’re compiled from disparate images through Photoshop. If your lead character has a distinctive tattoo or hair style and they don’t have a picture of it in the files, you and your book are SOL. I foresee a lot of bland, similar-looking covers (with identical-looking leads) in the future.

We’re having that problem right now with our cover for the serial story. We’re trying to come up with a mammoth for the background. The one in the book was a mutated creature with wolf and human attributes, but there aren’t any stock images of that. We’ll have to settle for a generic mammoth (and when’s the last time you saw that term used in a sentence?). It might take longer, but it would look so much better, and much more unique, if we could just draw the damn thing. Why didn’t I take art in college instead of English?

I know I said we weren’t going to gather all the story’s separate posts together into a book. I lied. I’m a lying swine. There, I said it. Never trust a writer. We’re doing it as a promotional aid. The plan is to introduce ourselves and create awareness of our blog (and the books we wrote and advertise on it) to a wider audience. It’s what I’ve been talking about these last three weeks. This is us attempting to reach those million people who, we hope, will give us each a dollar. The serial story itself will be free, but if they like what they read they might check out our backlists. See how it all fits together?

One last thing. If your goal is to be a writer, don’t major in English in college. Take something that’ll let you earn a living. You can learn more from reading a really bad book than any lit courses anyway. But not our books. Our books are great. Keep those dollars coming!

And Then Again ...

Last week I talked about the serial story I’ve got going over on Shapeshifter Seductions, and listed all the reasons why I won’t be gathering it into a self-published free read. Well, today I’m taking most of that back. Yes, it would mean a ton of work and we can’t charge for it. But then Savanna pointed out a free novel would make an excellent promotional tool for our blog and our shared universe. I’m not sure how excellent of a novel it would make, considering most of it was written on the fly, but when it’s free, who cares?

So it’s possible you might be seeing Talbot’s Peak—The Novel (we also need to come up with a title) at some point in the future. The story’s only got another three-four chapters to go. Then we can decide who’s going to get stuck gathering all 50-odd chapters together and formatting them and what about a cover and all the other minutiae. Well, I wanted to learn about self-publishing. This would make an acceptable test run.

Yeah, I lied. I made a big to-do last week and now I’m reversing my position. I can do that. I’m a writer. We make stuff up for a living. All fiction is lies. For that matter, so is a lot of “reality” television. Did you know those shows have writers? There’s a gig I’d love to land. You’ll notice there are no reality shows about writers. We’re a dull bunch on camera. All the action happens on the page.

# # #

Last Saturday I attended a meeting of the writers’ group I’ve been a quasi-member of for—geez, it must be going on at least fifteen-twenty years by now. That’s scary, mostly because a lot of the members don’t appear to have had any lasting success in all that time. I’m not even sure if some of them are even writing any more. I think Darryl (“Mr. Know It All”) and I are the only ones who’ve sold more than one novel, and I had to jump genres to get that far. Of course, I can only judge by who shows up. Those who have become successful promptly leave the group. Saturday’s meeting demonstrated why that is.

I’ve never brought a story to the group for critique and don’t ever intend to. A group of less-than-successful writers who don’t know any more than you do telling you why your story sucks is not my idea of a productive afternoon. One time I did bring a manuscript, but it was a story I’d already sold to a high-end SF magazine. I brought it as a marketing tool, to show the group what a pro editor was currently buying. To my knowledge nobody looked at it, and nobody asked me about it. That should have told me all I needed to know right there.

Anyway, I showed up Saturday mostly to brag about my latest romance release and show off my shiny new cover. But first I made a tactical error. I asked the group in general if anyone had tried self-publishing, in the hopes I could pick up some pointers. Naturally Mr. Know It All immediately answered. He called self-publishing a waste of time and effort. “Sure, you can do it, if you want to throw your work away. You’ll never make any money at it.” End of discussion. God has spoken.

When I explained my situation, that I’m in a group with four other writers and we kind of fell into a shared universe and selling works set in said universe might lead to legal entanglements, he suggested we get a lawyer and hammer out some kind of agreement. Gee, why didn’t I think of that?

No one else spoke up. If they’d ever thought about self-pubbing, they sure weren’t going to mention it after God’s proclamation. So much for encouraging others.

But the worst was yet to come. A person I’ve long considered a friend was hosting the meeting, and I wanted to announce my imminent release and show her my cover. I practically had to drag her to the computer and force her to call up the site with my cover on it. First she wanted to pick my brain about self-publishing sites (Darryl was not in the room). She almost shut down the computer before I reminded her about the cover. Now that I think about it, I don’t believe she even commented on the cover. She did comment that she hasn’t written anything in a while. She wants to write something substantial. Something with meaning. Not like what I write.

Yeah, she said that. Thanks a heap, bitch.

Why do I even bother with these people? They’re a bunch of losers and wannabes. Most are likely to end up nevergonnabes. Wonder if Darryl’s sold a book recently? Last I heard, his career was in trouble because he’s still stuck on Lovecraftian horror while the market has moved on. He’s been living on his wife’s income, but she just retired. Bet he changes his mind about self-publishing within the next couple of months.

As for me, I realized years ago I could do my career the most good if I skipped these meetings and spent the time writing instead. Which I think I’ll be doing from now on. I’ve found a group of people who encourage me and challenge me to better myself, and who actually write instead of just talking about it. If you’re thinking of joining a writers’ group, that’s the kind you want.

And if you do visit a group and one of the members is named Darryl, run for the exit. Trust me.

Ye Olde Randome Stuffe

I’m going in a bunch of directions today, because none of the stuff I’m reporting on can make a full blog on its own. Together, though, they should make up an entry long enough that you’ll figure you’re getting your money’s worth. Wait a minute, this is free. Yeah well.

# # #

Freedom of speech was fun while it lasted. The other day I tried to get onto my publisher’s website and discovered the library system’s onerous content filter is back in operation. Once again the system is determined to protect my innocent eyes from lascivious content, including the smutty books I myself wrote. I didn’t check, but I’m pretty sure the filter still allows people onto the site that shows you how to make pipe bombs. So sex is verboten but acts of terrorism are fine. Glad to see Lancaster County’s priorities are firmly in order.

This couldn’t come at a worse time, because—drum roll—I sold that book I was working on! It’s the smuttiest of smut, with a dominant woman who buys a pair of slaves for, um, personal entertainment. You know, juggling and card tricks and stuff. Hey, kids could be reading this. Gotta watch that content filter.

Anyway, I sent it out last Thursday evening and got the acceptance email on Tuesday. Siren’s nice in that regard; they don’t make you wait months and months for a reply. Some publishers don’t respond at all. “If you don’t hear from us, we’re not interested.” Yeah, well, you won’t be hearing from me again, because I’m not interested in you. I can publish books on my own now. Or I’ll be able to once I learn how. I think I’ll write straight-up porn and self-publish on Amazon, which skates right by the library’s content filter and has all sorts of nasty stuff right out there in the open for everyone to see. So there.

I wish I knew why descriptions of adult fictional characters enjoying themselves get so many people in a tizzy. And don’t try to tell me, “We must protect the children!” The children aren’t going anywhere near these sites. They’re playing video games that let them blow stuff up and save the world from the zombie apocalypse. You know, practical life skills. You keep your hands to yourselves, you zombie menaces! We’re watching you!

# # #

Having finished a book, I’m now faced with the usual problem of having to start another one. Looks like the winner this time around will be a Talbot’s Peak book, which means self-pubbing because not all the characters or concepts are mine. I was able to bypass that with Jessalina’s Pets because even though the initial post appeared on Shapeshifter Seductions, it’s not set in our fictional town and doesn’t use any characters created by anyone else. Ditto for one of the M/Ms I’ve got on the back burner. I transported the main characters to Philadelphia and created a whole new background and supporting cast. I can’t do that with this one. Better familiarize myself with formatting.

I’m not that concerned with the text of the book. It’s the cover that’s got me worried. In spite of working in the typesetting industry off and on for several years, I don’t know the first thing about fonts and typography and Photoshop and creating a cover. I’ll probably have to pay somebody to do that. This is why I’m still subbing to regular publishers. I’m just here to write the book. Let someone else worry about all the technical crap. That’s what they’re gobbling down half the royalties for. Dammit, I knew I should have taken art classes when I was in school.

I wonder if I have Photoshop on the laptop? I’ve got a ton of programs just sitting on the hard drive that I never even look at because I bought this for Internet and email and to serve as a typewriter. I could probably be a publisher if I knew how to work this stuff. Maybe I can teach myself. That’s what the library’s for. It isn’t for researching erotica publishers any more, that’s for damn sure.

# # #

Let’s start the learning curve by attempting to make a link. If I did this right, you should be able to reach the blog post that became Jessalina’s Pets by clicking here. If I didn’t, it’s at October 9, 2013. I’m going to miss paper when it finally goes out of fashion, even though typing on a computer is so much faster and easier. And nobody cares if you make mistakes because you can correct it on screen. I guess that guy from the Monkeys, whose mother invented Wite-Out, doesn’t get royalties any more. Them’s the breaks, fella. Time marches on.

# # #

I put food out for Stray Kitty this morning and he let it sit again. A neighbor told me he doesn’t like fish, and this had tuna in it. Talk about picky. I hope he likes the taste of no food. I’m sure somebody else will slip him something, or else he’ll catch a bird or a squirrel. We know he’s not fishing in the creek. And I’ve reached a decent word count, so we’ll wrap on this finicky note. See you next week!

Loose Ends

As of this writing, I’m just about done with the final read through of my latest book. Some time later today I’ll be sending it off to market. Will it sell? Will it bounce? Will I tear out the rest of my hair while I’m waiting? Watch this space.

You’d think by now I’d be used to waiting. I submitted a book to Harper Voyager’s last open call, back in October 2012. A little over a year later I got the rejection letter. Some poor folks are still waiting for word. For their sakes, I hope the word’s good. I sent the same book to another SF publisher’s open call in December 2013. So far the wait on that one is six months and counting. Welcome to the life of a writer.

I’m beginning to see the appeal of self-publishing. You write your book, polish it up, get yourself some cover art, upload it and you’re good to go. If you want to publish another book the next day, you can. Yes, you have to deal with the editing and covers and promo and all the other stuff publishers do, but for some folks cutting out the wait time is worth it. Higher royalty percentages and monthly royalty payments only sweeten the pot.

I may be dealing with this shortly. With one book off to market, I need to go to work on something else. One of those somethings is a Shapeshifter Seductions novel that I’ll have to self-publish, for a number of legal and moral reasons I detailed in a previous blog. If and when I finish the thing, I’ll be sure to detail the journey here. Forget sales. I need ideas for blog posts.

This is what most writers do while we’re waiting to hear back from publishers: we write another book. Or watch TV. I get a lot of inspiration from TV, so I can call it research. Wonder if I can deduct that on my taxes?

# # #

For those of you worried about Stray Kitty, stop. He’s slimmed down a bit since I stopped putting the bowls out, but his pickiness hasn’t changed. The other day he showed up at the door so I gave him a can of food. Fifteen minutes later I went out to get the dish. The food was still there. So was Stray Kitty. He sat there and waited for another ten minutes until I finally got rid of the offending food and gave him another can. He ate that one. The next day he didn’t show up at all. I guess he found better food elsewhere.

Keep in mind Stray Kitty lives on the street and has no food bowl to go home to. No home, for that matter. This is an animal I’ve observed eating dead cicadas. And he expects me to cater to his taste buds? I’ve come to the conclusion he was some poor woman’s lazy mooch of a boyfriend in a previous life. Karma finally put him in the proper body. Cats have it great, even strays.

# # #

Just remembered another drawback to traditional publishing: the dreaded query letter. I usually lead off with what amounts to a blurb, to catch the editor’s interest. I’m sure you’ve read those blurbs on the backs of books; they help you decide whether or not to plunk down your money for it. Ever try writing one? It’s a stone bitch. Try boiling down a 1000-page novel into a single paragraph. Or a single sentence. Not that it can’t be done, and done well; Snakes on a Plane is pretty self-explanatory. But this is your story, your people and plot, and now you have to distill all those writing hours and all that blood and sweat on the page down to the attention-catching highlights. It’s a whole other mindset from fiction and a tough one to master. Some e-publishers want you to write your own back cover copy. Sales could depend on how well you do this. Can’t we just write the damn book and be done with it?

Ditto for the synopsis. Let’s see you scrunch your startling plot twists and brilliant characterization into a 300-word overview. What do you put in to make it sound exciting, and sellable? How much should be left out? Doing a synopsis for a romance might be a little easier. You don’t have to mention all the sex scenes. The genre makes those a given. Just synopsize the rest of the plot and you’ll be fine.

I’ll bet writing synopses for porn is incredibly easy. “Jill meets Marcus at a party. They go back to his place and have sex for 5000 words. Then Marcus’s roommate Ramon shows up and they break out the handcuffs.” Hey, I think I’ve got my next story. Self-publishing, here I come!

Why I Might Have to Self-Publish

You don’t need to read this entry. This is mostly me talking to myself. I’ve pretty much reached a decision, but I still have some hesitations to work through. Most are financial, but the most important deal with copyright and doing the right thing by others.

I’ve been reading up on self-publishing since it became a thing. Specifically, a profitable thing. The writers’ site I frequent features dozens of stories of people who took the plunge and put their own books out there when regular publishers said no. Some have had abysmal sales; others do quite well. The best sellers appear to be mysteries, romances or cheap porn featuring women being ravished by Bigfoot. There’s the biggest plus of the Internet: no narrow, publisher-dictated categories. You can write whatever you can imagine and put it out there. Somebody’s bound to read it. If you pub it, they will come. Maybe not in huge numbers, but with the higher royalty rates offered by self-publishing venues, you get more of the take. A dollar’s still a dollar, after all.

Dollars are my biggest hangup. So far my epublishing adventures have been limited to regular publishers. They handle all the stuff that comes after you finish the book: the editing, the proofreading, the cover, the ISBN number, the distribution, part of the promotion. Without a regular publisher, you have to do all that. You can rely on beta readers to help you catch plot holes and typos, but if you want your book to look and read like something put out by a pro, you’re going to have to pay for an editor and pay an artist to come up with a decent cover. Oh, and get somebody to format your file correctly so it uploads. Then hope you sell enough copies to cover these expenses. The more your book looks like something put out by a New York publisher, the better your chances of that.

Yes, you can edit your own work and find a free stock photo for the cover, and wade through Smashword’s formatting manual if that’s how you want to spend your time. Other people do that. Hundreds of others. You want your book to stand out. Look at it this way, though: if your book has fewer than ten typos on the first page, you’re already ahead of the pack.

Hard, time-consuming work with no guarantee of reward shouldn’t bother me. I’m a writer. I’m used to that. I’m also used to others handling all the back-end business stuff that goes into publishing. That alone scares me, never mind the expenses. Okay, I mind the expenses too. I’d rather leave all this to a publisher and let them send me checks.

That’s another thing. In return for doing all the scut work on your book, the publisher wants a cut of the take. That’s just business. Those editors, proofreaders and cover artists don’t work for free. Because there aren’t any printing costs, epublishers can pay anywhere from 35% to 45% royalties. However, that’s not always percentage of cover price. Sometimes it can be percentage of net, and “net” can include all kinds of hidden expenses to drive your take down and theirs up. Make sure you know exactly what you’re getting before you sign the contract.

With self-publishing, there are no other hands snatching slices of your cake. You get everything. You get your cake and eat it too. Better still, some venues like Amazon pay monthly, and let you track your sales. No more waiting four months for a paltry check. Now you get a paltry check every 30 days. This may be why some self-pubbers upload a new story every week. There’s another advantage. With no publisher, there are no publishers’ schedules. The book can go out when it’s ready, not when somebody else says it’s ready. You’re free to flood your own market if you’re prolific enough. It’s a good way to build and keep a readership.

None of this has anything to do with my reasons to consider self-publishing. Glad now you read down this far?

Here’s my hangup: copyright and fairness. I’m on another blog with four other writers. We’re starting to write and publish stories set in our fictional world. I’ve got two in the works right now. Once they’re done, what do I do with them? I’d like to go to a regular publisher, for the time, work, and cost reasons mentioned above. However, some of the characters appearing in my stories are creations of the other writers. I don’t own them. I also can’t claim full ownership of the concept, setting or background. All that was a group effort. What happens if the book takes off? Are my fellow writers, without whom the book wouldn’t exist in the first place even if they didn’t take part in the writing, still entitled to a piece of the royalties?

What about copyright in general? Publishers like exclusivity. If you sell them the first book in a series, they’ll naturally want the rest of the series. Depending on the contract and the wording of right-of-first-refusal clauses, they might own the series. What happens if one of my fellow writers self-pubs a book using the same characters I did? Two of my sister authors have already self-published stories set in our shared world. My right to sell these stories to a publisher may be gone already. Could a publisher sue any of us for plagiarism? Would they try to crack down on the self-pubbed stories to protect “their” intellectual property?

I’m not a lawyer. I don’t even play one on the Internet. Seems to me the best solution, the one least likely to cause any grief, would be for me to bite the bullet, pony up the cash, and dive into the self-publishing waters. At least I wouldn’t be doing it alone. I can pick the others’ brains for tips on formatting and how to make a cover. Without a publisher hovering over me, I can cross-promote all our books and link to the other entries without fear of reprisal. If one sells, it could increase sales of the others. Win-win all around.

Who knows? We could end up starting our own micro-publishing company. However, I don’t think any of us are that crazy. First and foremost, though, it would help if I actually finished the books. The time to worry is when you have something concrete to worry about. Step one in making rabbit stew: catch the rabbit. Back to work, alas.

On Tap for 2012

The topic-tank’s running low again, so instead of an actual blog I’m going to run excerpts from a couple of WIPs. One’s M/M, one’s M/F, one I hope to send to a fantasy market, and one I’m entering in this year’s Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award contest just as soon as I clean up that one last pesky chapter. Enjoy.

Snippet A:
The cab left Holland Temminck off at an ornate iron gate just off the main road. Beyond the gate twin lines of hedges and a wide drive led the eye directly to its intended target, the grand, two-story mansion that crouched like a hungry cat at its end. Holland’s imagination saw the wings as paws with claws extended, and the front doors as a mouth just looking for an excuse to gape. The windows even glinted green, like greedy eyes. Holland took his time extracting his single bag from the cab’s trunk. He was in no rush to fling himself into that ravenous maw.

“That’s quite the hike,” the driver remarked. “You want me to take you to the door?”

Holland hesitated. No, take me to the airport poised on his tongue like a diver on the edge of a cliff. He had just enough cash left on him to escape Georgia. He could disappear into the Pacific Northwest or perhaps slip into Canada, where even Judge Minsk’s riches couldn’t find him. All it would cost him was his family’s continued survival.

Sold to stud to save the family solvency. Not the fate he’d imagined for himself when he was a kit.

“No, thanks.” Holland slammed the lid of the trunk. “This is fine.”

Snippet B:
There’s no way you can mistake a dragon when one stalks into your life. I recognized this one the second he strode through the door of my shop, in spite of his human form. It’s all a lie anyway, only a disguise, and not a very good one at that. When a dragon enters a certain space, he stands and moves as if everything, and everyone, within range of his senses is his. Dragons are greedy. It’s their nature.

This one had picked a human shape that was both imposing and attractive. The body bearing down on me topped six feet easily, every inch of it molded into male physical perfection. Naturally. He would want to draw all females to him. Greedy, remember?

Snippet C:
Clay Beddoe rode into the town of Fortune on the back of a buckskin mare, with a rangy bay stallion trotting along behind. The bay wore neither pack nor bridle, only a native blanket. It followed Clay up the street like a dog and never once spooked at the bustle.

And quite a bustle it was, Clay thought, even for a railroad stop like Fortune. So many people all over the place, you’d think it was the Fourth of July. Men mostly, and a lot of them rough customers. Clay thinned his eyes and thinned his mouth and tried not to look like he was watching.

And the horses! Near as many as the people. Cow ponies, native paints, bucket-hooved giants that ought to be back on the farm pulling plows instead of hogging much-needed street space. Quite a few horses showed speed in their lines and quality in their breeding. The rough crowd held the reins on these. Clay’s narrowed eyes got thinner.

Two cowboys on horseback charged up the street, slapping the rumps of their mounts with their hats and howling like a pair of coyotes. Clay barely reined his mare out of their way in time. The bay shrilled a protest and shot a nasty look after the racers.

“Better put that horse on a lead,” a bystander advised, “or he’s gonna get tromped on.”

Snippet D:
Johnie Ishida wasn’t thinking about the end of the world. He was thinking about the overripe pigpen stink rolling off the flesh and clothes of the fat man crammed into the booth opposite him. When pressed for a meeting place, Johnie had picked this hole-in-the-wall dinette because the LA smog patrol had rated today a Defcon-3, and besides, the place served a smokin’ Gutbuster Gordito. But now, with the man’s stench smothering him like an antique Amish quilt, he wished he’d put his lungs at risk and insisted on an open-air meet after all.

But the man had an offer, Olmos has said. Something lucrative. Something unique. Right up Johnie’s alley. So he sipped his cola, kept a wary eye on the two beat cops at the counter, breathed through his mouth as best he could, and listened. And vowed that, once the job was done, he would bitch-slap Olmos silly.

The fat man shifted a butt the size of Madagascar on the crimson vinyl seat and mopped a gallon of sweat off his face with the back of a beefy hand. A chunk of odor wafted in Johnie’s direction. The dinette’s ancient air conditioner, industriously throbbing away, made little dent in it. Johnie cringed back, but the reek got its hooks in his nostrils anyway. It tasted raw and slimy, like day-old fish, or panic.

# # #

My biggest problem, along with my procrastinative nature, is going to be word count. I’m not sure if A is going to reach the mandatory 20,000 word minimum required by the publisher I’m aiming for. I guess I can throw in an extra sex scene if I have to. I thought I had two possible markets for C. One tops out at 10,000 words; the other is looking for novellas between 20,000-40,000. Snippet C, of course, runs 15,000. It’s probably easier to cut instead of pad, so I’ll give it a thorough go-over with my virtual butcher knife and send it to the shorter market. If that doesn’t pan out, you could be looking at my first foray into self-publishing. I’d like to move into that arena for 2012. The romance market may be booming, but I’m tired of the long wait times even e-mags are inflicting on SF/F writers. I had two different mags each hold two different stories for over a year and a half before rejecting them. Another held a story for TWO YEARS and eventually folded, all without notifying me even though I sent a nudge note. I found out about its demise in a market report. I can have a story up on Smashwords and Amazon just as soon as I figure out the formatting instructions, and I get to keep the bulk of the money. So there.

This should keep me busy for the first couple of months of the new year, at least. And what are your plans for 2012?