All Too Human

I miss Buffy.

What brings on my spate of nostalgia for kick-assery is the last two books I read (got ‘em from the library, so I had to go through ‘em fast), Daughter of Smoke and Bone and its sequel, Days of Blood and Starlight, by Laini Taylor. They’re Young Adult: the protag is a 17-year-old girl and there’s the requisite ultra-hot guy (literally; he’s a seraph with burning wings) and eternal love story. All Twilight comparisons end there. The books contain beautiful writing by someone who obviously loves language and knows how to wield words for greatest impact. Taylor’s world-building and characterization ain’t too shabby either. Even secondary characters are well-fleshed enough for believability, and the mysteries build to a slow reveal that actually is revealed, rather than drawn out for the sake of another bloated trilogy. The “angels” in this universe would kick the posers from Fallen, Halo and Hush, Hush right out the window and toss ‘em their pinfeathers as a parting shot. In another world—say, the 1980s—this book would have been shelved in the Science Fiction/Fantasy section and college kids would be reading it.

The only downside is that it’s a trilogy and the conclusion won’t be out until next year. I wanna read it right friggin’ now, dammit! Sadly, books of this quality take time, so I’ll just have to suck it up and wait along with everybody else—first for the release date, then for the library to get it, unless I hang out at Barnes and Noble and try to skim it for free. Yes, I liked it. If I were giving a review, both volumes would get 5 stars.

However …

Partway through the second book a nagging thought occurred to me. Although the main character is human by default—they’re trying to sell this to human readers, after all—pretty much the rest of the cast are aliens from another dimension: the beastial chimaera and their sworn enemies, the winged seraphim. They’ve been at war for hundreds of years. Then a chimaera girl meets a seraph boy on the battlefield, and—well, you know what happens. It’s YA.

I can handle that. I just have to remind myself who the target audience is, and it ain’t some old lady who was weaned on the original Star Trek and New Age science fiction. What started to bother me was how much these alien creatures from this alien dimension, with nothing at all in common with Earth history, thought and behaved just like us.

I know, I know, it’s necessary; target audience and all that. They used to do it on Star Trek too, and all the other books and shows supposedly set on alien worlds or in other time periods. For instance, next time you watch one of these shows or movies, note the number of alien societies that independently evolved catsuits and high heels. The characters may be aliens in the far future, but the readers/viewers are modern-day humans, and they want characters they can recognize and identify with. I guess I'll have to live with that.

I just wish the aliens from the other dimension hadn’t evolved sexism.

In far too many of these books, movies, comics, etc., women get short shrift. It happens here. Again. Yes, there are female soldiers, but they’re not exempt if one of the ruling males wants them. The king of the angels has a harem and breeds bastard soldiers for the war effort. The chimera general fixates on the heroine because she’s the most beautiful woman (i.e., human looking) in all the land, and she kind of goes for him in a wishy-washy, spineless, what choice do I have sort of manner, at least until she meets Hot Angel Boy. So General Buttwipe catches her and has her beheaded. Later, when she’s reborn in human form, she ends up working with General BW because, wellll, he’s the hero of the resistance and all and she doesn’t really feel like she has a choice. She also has a skill he desperately needs for the war effort, and he sets up one of his flunkies as her assistant to learn it so he can dispose of her again. I figured that out about ten chapters before she did. He manipulates the holy hell out of her and she just can’t see it, even with two lifetimes of experience.

Jesus Christ, honey. He KILLED YOU. He CUT YOUR FRIGGIN’ HEAD OFF. You were reborn as a human and separated from your one true love, not to mention your homeworld, because THIS GUY IS A SCUZZBAG. How many lives do you have to be hit over the head in? Or have that head cut off? I expect more, or at least different, from someone non-human. The first time around, anyway.

That, to varying degrees, is what we get with the other alien females. No matter how skilled or tough or independent they are, their choices ultimately depend on the whim of some male. The only one who takes direct, decisive action against the evil rulers is Hot Angel Boy. The heroine finally fights back against General Buttwipe, but only when he attempts to rape her. C’mon, sweetie, you’ve known for two lifetimes he was a sleaze of the highest order. You had to see that one coming.

Like I said, I miss Buffy.

It would really be nice if, in one of these books, the alien society held out some hope to impressionable young girls that there’s more to life than pairing up with a scuzzball while waiting for the right hot guy to come along. A female general would have been welcome. I’ll bet if Xena or Red Sonja was commanding that army, the king would think twice before ordering them hauled off to the harem. (One did try that with Red Sonja, with the expected fatal result.) I’ll bet Xena or Sonja wouldn’t hesitate to have some comely young soldier boy brought to her tent, either. (Maybe Xena not so much since she has Gabrielle, but Sonja, definitely.) I’d love to see that in a book just once, boy I tell you what.

There’s some hope for the third volume, maybe. There’s a group of outcast angels out there, ruled by a queen. Please let her be a T’Pau. That's her in the picture up there. She ruled Vulcan on Star Trek. The whole planet decided she was the logical choice to lead them. Who’s going to argue with Vulcan logic? Just pointing out that it can be done, and young girls can be exposed to the concept without it corrupting their lives.

Some day I’ll rant about how superheroines can chase after the bad guys while wearing stiletto heels. Except Wonder Woman, who can fly. And why isn’t she wearing boots or sandals like the other Amazonian warriors? But that’s another blog.

Taking the Easy Way Out

Rather than strain my brain coming up with an original blog, today I’ve decided to post a scene from my WIP. In short, I’m taking the day off. Ain’t I a stinker?

The lead-in: Waitress Billie has a major fangirl crush on Dylan, the star of her favorite TV show, Slayer for Hire (coincidentally also the title of the book). However, when the show comes to film in her hometown, she finds herself falling for Dylan’s co-star, Matt (shown above). Meanwhile, Dylan’s being stalked by an actual vampire, and Billie’s also a target. Matt, who comes from a family of slayers, stops by Billie’s apartment to guard her. We pick up as they’re discussing higher education …

“It’s okay if you didn’t go to college,” Matt said. “I didn’t, and it worked out fine for me.” He leaned toward me to whisper, “I’ve been taking courses at USC when I can fit them in. I want to surprise my dad with a diploma. Maybe in about ten years, at the rate I’m going.”

“Tell me about it. I’ve been taking online courses. I’ve got a jar full of tip money set aside for it. Pay as you go.”

“What are you studying?”

“Fashion design. I could go to New York for school if I wanted. My dad’s offered to pay for the first year, at least.” Yeah, I could do that. Why hadn’t I?

“You know how to sew?” He sounded impressed.

“Uh-huh. My Gram taught me.” I hopped up and went to the kitchen table. It meant leaving the heavenly circle of his arm, but it also meant a change of subject. I grabbed at that. I could grab the arm later.

Matt got up and joined me at the table. He whistled as I paged through the sketch book. “These are good. Have you actually made any of them?”

“Some. I sewed my own prom dress,” I added proudly. “For $45. People thought I’d sent to New York for it. I’d show it to you, but I don’t have it any more. Some twit at the prom spilled punch on it.” Cough Ava cough.

“Was this it?”

Oh God. Wouldn’t you know, I’d stopped at the sketch of the princess gown, the one I’d made the color of his eyes. Don’t notice don’t notice don’t notice, I prayed.

“Maya would love that,” Matt went on. “Add another layer of ruffles and she’d be your fan forever.”

“Maya, your sister? The wannabe football player?”

“When she’s off the field, she turns uber-girlie. What’s this one?”

He picked up the pad labeled “Costumes” before I could stop him. I dropped mine and grabbed at it frantically. “That’s nothing. Discarded ideas. It’s—”

Too late. He flipped the cover open. My interpretation of Dylan Garber as Jesse Pierce leaped out at both of us. The clothes I’d drawn to dress him in were way tighter than what he wore on the show. Especially in the crotch and butt. Yes, I’d done front and back views.

“Good likeness,” Matt said, his voice neutral. Was that a hint of red in his eyes?

“Jesse Pierce needs a new outfit,” I said weakly. I tugged on the sketchpad but he wouldn’t give it up. He went on flipping through the book. Page after page of Dylan, Dylan, and nothing but Dylan, in various outfits and assorted weaponry. “He wears the same thing week after week. He should mix it up. You know, scarves and turtlenecks or something, to protect his throat.”

Matt grunted. He went on flipping, and I went on tugging. My blatant Dylan obsession wasn’t the worst thing in there. I had to get it away from him before he found it.

He turned the last page to my most recent drawing, and stopped there.

Shit.

There stood Emmett Land in full-color glory, a lot straighter and more heroic than he appeared on TV, holding a crossbow and glaring out at the viewer with Matt’s handsome face and stormy blue-gray eyes.

Naked.

Even with the crossbow held at a strategic angle and the big, thick bolt obscuring his youknow, there was no getting around it. He wasn’t just nude. He was nuuuuuuuuuude.

Matt’s brows shot up into his hair.

“Emmett could do with a makeover too.” My voice cracked into shrill little pieces.

“Nice,” Matt said, “but a bit too minimalist for TV.”

# # #

And now, the book’s only sex scene, in its entirety: “If this is the part you’ve all been waiting for, too bad. I’m not the kind of girl who kisses or does anything else and tells. Let’s just say Matt missed his flight and let it go at that.” Enjoy.

Uncharted Territory

The best-laid schemes of mice and men gang aft agley, or so the saying goes. We can add writers to the list. We can definitely add this writer, because my twisty mind took another turn down a bumpy side road, and now I’m dealing with the consequences.

A couple weeks ago I explained how I ended up as a writer of M/M romances: by accident. I had ideas and ran with them, and happily it paid off. I also suffer from a bad case of sequelitis. One idea sparks others, and next thing you know I’m writing a series. It’s how I wound up writing my first ménage, something else I’d never done before. The ménage sparked an idea for a second sequel, which I swear I’ll get to eventually.

Then the ménage fooled me by sparking—well, I can’t exactly call it a sequel. Let’s call it a follow-up. It’s an outgrowth of the first two books, but with different characters … and in a whole other genre.

Suddenly I find myself contemplating the creation of a young adult novel.

It’s like this. At the end of Legacy, human Jeremy, vampire Wallace, and human/vamp hybrid Colleen have formed a household. In the last chapter, we learn Colleen is pregnant. She and Wally will soon be proud parents, with equally-proud co-parent Jeremy helping out as the nanny. HEA, over and done with, on to the next book idea.

Except … I couldn’t let go of the characters. Colleen wanted a lot of kids, and she was sleeping with both the men. I decided they ended up with four kids. Kid #3, a son, is Jeremy’s. He grows up to look just like his dad, height and all. In high school he falls in love with the Drama Club. Instead of going to college he gets his first role and goes into acting. He ends up on the cult-hit TV show Slayer for Hire, about two guys who travel around the country killing monsters. Yes, I’m still milking That Show.

Then I got ideas for a plot and characters, and now I’m writing the thing.

It’s not erotica. It’s not even a romance, though it has romantic elements. The girl’s 19, the boy’s 22. There’s no sex. They hug and kiss a bit. It’s a lighthearted romp, in spite of the vampires and a couple of grisly murders. Right now it looks like the overarching theme involves rabid fangirls, fantasy versus reality, and the dangers of getting too caught up in a TV show. Might as well write what I know.

I figure it’ll work best as YA, given the ages of the leads, and the girl’s struggle with figuring out her place in the new-to-her, confusing world of responsible adulthood. This means I’ll have to learn a whole genre’s worth of new rules. Brain, what have you gotten me into this time?

I’m not sure where or how it’ll go. I’ve only got the first half plotted. I’ve figured out who kills the bad guy vampire, and how. Foreshadowing is fun. I suppose if I finish it and do try to market it, I’d better ask Siren’s permission first, because of that one paragraph in the contracts. It’s not a direct sequel, but it does use concepts and characters from books Siren published, even if they’re only alluded to. I figure on using my P. E. Cunningham byline for this, the one I keep for my SF and fantasy work as opposed to the romance books, or maybe come up with a new one. I’ve heard some YA authors are using grown-up versions of their characters to write erotica works and cash in on that market. I don’t think anyone’s ever gone in the other direction. I doubt if the Belonging and Legacy readers would be interested in YA. I know I’d rather not have any teen readers looking at my source material.

That’s where I stand right now, mired hip-deep in a whole new genre and trying to write myself free. Well, it’s always good for personal growth to try new things. That’s how I ended up writing romance, paranormal and M/M. Maybe I’ll finally learn how to draw and go into comic books next. It never ends …