Excuse #514

I had a topic for a post today, but what with one thing and the other--oh hell. The truth is, I just lazed off today. I didn't write anything. I just kind of piddled around the house. I think I mean "fiddled." Yeah. Fiddled around. Piddled makes it sound like I haven't been housebroken. As you can see, the writing machine definitely needs a tune up.

I definitely have a problem with procrastination when it comes to the writing. Call it writer's block, call it avoidance, call it laziness, which is my label for it. The upshot is, you ain't getting a blog today. You're getting me rambling along for a couple of hundred words on whatever hits me as my fingers move. Feel free to skim. Nothing of earth-shaking importance will be imparted herein today.

Don't panic, I'm not sick. It's nothing physical. Just a case of the ol' don't feel like its. At least for this one I can do stream of consciousness and call it a blog. You should see the hair-pulling that goes on when I have to produce a flash scene for Shapeshifter Seductions and the creative well has run dry.

How can you tell when I'm on a block or just don't feel like writing? Take a look at my house. It'll be clean. When I don't want to write, I put it off by doing housework. The other day I spray-cleaned the kitchen counters and scrubbed the accumulated grease spatter off the side of the fridge. I filled 10 bags with raked leaves for pickup and gave the lawn one final mow for the season. I'm going to have to take the mower out and get the blades sharpened for spring. Maybe that's what I'll do instead of writing next week's blog.

There's also the allure of cable TV and all its delightfully trashy reality shows. Between Duck Dynasty and Call of the Wildman, I expect the History Channel to change its name to Your Cable Redneck Station any day now. Instead of writing first thing in the morning, I've been getting up to watch the Buffy reruns on FX. This morning Spike got his soul back and Xander saved the world. Ah, Spike. Now I remember why I loved him so much, the surly, amoral bastard.

Oh, and for those worried about the stray cat situation, Momma and her kittens have been relocated to a local Amish farm, where they'll have a warm barn to sleep in and all the rodents they can chase. Farm cats are working cats, so they won't be bored.

Okay, that looks like sufficient verbiage. Back to writing avoidance. I've started rereading Stephen King's It. Sucker clocks in at over 1000 pages, small type. That ought to keep me occupied for a couple of weeks at least.

And the Beat Goes On

The month of May is wrapping up, and so are most TV series that started in the fall. Some of them ended on cliffhangers. Some of them won’t be back. Sorry, people. Shows get cancelled. That’s how TV works.

Luckily for us fans of SF TV, cancellation (like death on some of these shows) doesn’t necessarily mean the end. Some series find new life in the medium of comic books.

I’m not talking about the tie-in series that appear at your local comic book shop while the show is still on the air. I’m talking about actual continuations of the show’s themes, characters and storylines, picking up where the cancelled show left off. The stories are considered canon; this is how the story would have continued if it hadn’t ended on TV.

I don’t know what the first “continuation comic” was, but the first one I became aware of was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. There had been Buffy comics since the series went off the air, but this one was touted as different. This would be “Buffy Season 8,” an authorized continuation of the show, under the supervision of Buffy creator Joss Whedon. Mr. Whedon even wrote the first story arc himself.

That’s another difference between these books and your usual tie-in comic: participation by people involved in the show, from the creator to writers and sometimes the actors (Amber Benson has written Buffy comics). Joss Whedon’s title on the Buffy book is “executive producer.”

The result is we, the fans, don’t have to say good-bye to our favorite show. We get what would have been additional seasons, without the hassle of budgetary restraints, backstage politics, interfering executives and stars getting older. Buffy Season 8 got pretty cosmic, with SFX that would have blown a TV show’s budget. But this was a comic book. When it comes to SFX, you can do anything on paper.

Another great thing about comic book versions is that different rights are involved. When DC started publishing Smallville Season 11, they were finally able to bring Batman to Metropolis, something they couldn’t do on the show because the film rights to the Dark Knight were tied up elsewhere. So what if he didn’t look like Christian Bale? This was a different version of the character, just like the Clark in this comic is a different take on Superman. One that has enough fans to justify a comic book continuation, obviously.

Why this mini-rise in prolonging the life of cancelled TV shows? For money, obviously. These companies are in business to make a buck. These books are a marketing strategy. DC is owned by Time-Warner, which produced Smallville. Over at Marvel, they’ll be publishing a Once Upon A Time graphic novel later this year (both Marvel and OUAT are owned/produced by Disney).

But it isn’t all about the money. Dark Horse, which publishes Buffy, doesn’t own a piece of the property. I’m not sure whose idea it was to stop simply putting out generic Buffy books and actually continue the TV show in comic book form. It might have been Joss Whedon. I’m sure he’s as fond of his “offspring” as any other writer, and isn’t finished telling stories about them. I’m fond of his “offspring” too, and so are a lot of other people, so everybody benefits. The ride doesn’t have to end just because the show went off the air. We can coast along for another couple of seasons, and get the stories the creators would have brought us if the idiot network brass hadn’t axed our favorite show.

I’m not sure how many “continuations” are out there right now. Buffy Season 9, and its spinoff series Angel and Faith, are currently wrapping up, with Season 10 in the works. Along with Smallville, DC’s also publishing a comic book version of Arrow. Arrow is more a concurrent tie-in series, with stories supposedly taking place between episodes. Same for the Grimm comic, also produced with input from its series creators. The current arc is exploring a subplot left dangling from last season.

It’s a new method of expanded multimedia storytelling, extending the life of our faves. I don’t mind a little extra Buffy. It’s kind of like bonus episodes. Best of all, there are no commercials. Almost makes me hope other shows I watch would get cancelled so I can enjoy further stories about my favorites without commercial interruption. Even though I’m sure Hell’s Kitchen—the Comic Book just wouldn’t be the same …

The Worst Job There Is

When it comes to jobs, what could possibly be bad about writing? You work from home. You set your own hours. You can put in your eight hours or whatever on the back porch or in front of the TV or in bed in your jammies. Sure, the pay might not always be the best and it’s kind of hit or miss. Weigh that against having to deal with bad bosses and back-stabbing, gossipy co-workers and money pales in comparison. You get to do what you love in your own time and in a place of your choosing and not have to work for or with jerks. If you work hard and luck runs your way, you can even make a living at it. That’s a better deal than WalMart offers.

Sometimes.

Along with all the genre fiction I’ve read over the years, media tie-in books have found their way into my to-be-read stack on more than one occasion. You know the ones I mean; you’ve seen them on the shelves. Star Trek and Star Wars predominate, and even have whole sections of their own. A lot of popular (or at least cult favorite) TV shows have tie-in novels available. (In the case of Castle, the books are supposedly produced by the show’s writer protagonist.) Some cancelled shows, like Buffy and Smallville, have continued their storylines in comic books. No more dealing with actors demanding raises, and the budget’s limited only by the artist’s imagination.

Now that would be the job to have, if you’ve got a favorite show. No world building, no creating characters. All the heavy lifting’s been done. It would be like writing fan fiction, except you get paid for it. Somebody’s gotta produce these things, right? Why not you and me?

It can turn out to be a lucrative gig. Some publishers consider these books work for hire and only pay a flat fee, but others offer standard advances and royalties. With a built-in fan base and guaranteed sales, even mediocre writers can come out ahead. Your books will reach the shelves and readers’ hands, and money will reach your bank account.

And the books don’t have to be routine, by-the-numbers crap. I can name several Trek novels that are just as well-written and exciting as an original universe book. Timothy Zahn’s initial Star Wars trilogy stands out in this regard. For comic book readers and Buffy fans, I recommend the Angel and Faith series. I was never that big a fan of either of those characters, but I’m enjoying this run even more than the current Buffy comic series. (Summary: Giles is dead. Angel’s trying to resurrect him. Hijinks ensue.) As with any form of fiction, it’s all in the execution.

Then you have the downsides. A lot of these tie-in novels are routine, by-the-numbers crap. That’s not necessarily the writer’s fault. Remember, when you’re playing in somebody else’s sandbox for pay, you have to abide by the homeowner’s rules. That means no slash, you Destiel shippers. No Spock or Data suddenly developing emotions, unless they return to normal by the end of the story. No introducing permanent love interests, or killing main characters, or doing anything that can’t be reversed before the final page. You need to leave the status at quo for the next writer. This can lead to a lot of bland books. I know; I’ve read them.

Back in my SF writing days I briefly had an agent. It didn’t work out in the end, but that’s another blog. While it was working out, I asked him about the possibility of writing a Star Trek novel. I was really into NextGen at the time and had some plot ideas.

His professional advice: okay, if that’s what I really wanted. However, I should make the plot as generic as possible because there was only one market, and if they turned it down I’d have spent a lot of time and effort for nothing. Therefore, I should write a book that could easily be converted to an original-universe novel in case I had to recycle.

That would explain the general suckage of the Trek tie-ins of that period. Also the introduction of so many original characters interacting with the Trek casts. Somebody needed to grow and change and learn by the end of the book, since that was off-limits for the regulars.

You think that’s bad, try writing a book, or a comic series, while the TV show is still on. Months of writing and dramatic buildup can be negated by next week’s episode. I saw this happen a couple of times in DC’s Star Trek comic series. The early Marvel Star Wars comics had it even worse. No Luke vs. Darth confrontations or exploring the Luke-Leia-Han triangle or any good stuff like that. No anything until after the next movie came out. Somehow Marvel and DC managed to put out entertaining comics under creativity-smothering circumstances. I sure wouldn’t want to be that writer, though.

And that’s why I feel being a tie-in writer tying in to a still-running series has to be the worst job out there. You can’t do anything to shake up the world or the characters, which is the heart of fiction. Every idea you come up with has to be approved by the copyright holders, the studio, the lawyers, and who knows who else. You could see your whole plot air on the CW the night you type The End, or have your book rendered obsolete by the next episode’s plot twist. Or one of the main actors leaves the show (I see a lot of X-Files fan heads nodding out there). Depending on the deal you get with the publisher, the money might not even be that good. That’s assuming you even get a deal. If you don’t, you’re stuck with an unsellable novel. Writing in your favorite TV world may be fun, but you have to ask yourself: is it really worth it?

Luckily for us media fans, there is a way to have our cake and eat it too. That’s fan fiction writing. It’s unsanctioned because no money’s involved, so you can do anything you want. If you make it AU enough, you can even rewrite it as an original book, self-publish, build a huge following, and get picked up by a major publisher. Hasn’t happened to me yet, but I hear it can be done.

It's Baa-aack!

Now that I’m almost a published YA paranormal author, I’ve been taking advantage of my local library and boning up on this genre I’m on the verge of becoming a part of. I read Twilight a while back, out of morbid curiosity. Since sending Slayer for Hire out to market, I’ve sampled a number of YA best sellers— Vampire Academy, Hush, Hush, the Hunger Games trilogy—and read reviews of similar books on Goodreads to save myself some time.

The results were … disturbing.

Most of these books follow what I’m coming to recognize as the Twilight formula: a beautiful young girl with low self-esteem becomes obsessed with the new boy in school, a brooding but physically perfect douche who treats her like kaka. Of course he’s harboring a Deep, Dark Secret—that he’s a vampire (or werewolf, or demon, or fallen angel, or Jehovah’s Witness)—which only makes him that much more attractive to the love-blinded heroine. He, of course, is totally smitten with her too, and demonstrates his undying devotion by insulting her, lying to her, humiliating her, ignoring her, keeping vital information from her (for “her own good,” to “protect her”), stalking her, and in some cases threatening her life. At least until the bad guy attacks, in which case he comes to her rescue, thus magically erasing the previous 400+ pages of abusive behavior and proving to the heroine (and us) that he’s a good guy after all, and theirs is a destined love for the ages.

Have I mentioned these guys are blindingly beautiful, and usually very rich? Have I mentioned the girl is a virgin with no confidence and woefully short on brains? Or she may be smarter than we think, since she manages to latch onto a hawt dude with money who makes her immortal at the height of her own dewy physical loveliness, so she never has to deal with backaches and saggy boobs or jiggling underarms or weight gain. Or having to look for a job, for that matter.

Having waded through more than one of these plots, and discovered the existence of uncountable others on Goodreads, I have to wonder: was the Women’s Movement just a mass hallucination? The girls in these books seem to never have heard of empowerment, or self-respect, or common sense, or rational thought. Their lives revolve around the totally hot boy who tells them to stay away, breaks into their bedroom to watch them sleep, and occasionally tries to kill them. They don’t appear to have any interests other than HIM. Quick: somebody tell me what Bella wanted to with her life after graduation from high school. Do not use the word “Edward” in your answer. Can’t do it? Me either.

The same holds true for the “heroines” in the other books young readers are devouring in droves. In some cases the girls themselves possess magical, even godlike powers. And they still act like emotional basket cases and let Prince Charming walk all over them with his perfect feet. It’s like Buffy and Xena and Hermoine Granger never existed. This is what we want our impressionable young daughters spending their time on? Lessons in Doormattery 101?

And then it hit me. Suddenly I recognized the pattern. I know now what I’m dealing with. All these books … they’re gothic romances.

If you don’t remember these, your mom will. A virginal young woman with no prospects ends up in a creepy isolated mansion (which the cover usually showed her running away from). The master of the house was a brooding older (“older” being late 20s-early 30s in those days) man with a ton of money and a deadly secret in his past (or in his attic, or the cellar). He was often abrupt, arrogant and insulting to the heroine. When the attempts on her life started, usually around chapter 4, he headed the suspect list. This didn’t stop the twit from falling in love with him and continuing to love him even when he threatened her with the andiron or threw the tea pot at her head. She was also prone to creeping down the cellar steps in the dark to investigate those mysterious noises, when anyone else with even one functioning brain cell would have lived up to the cover and run like hell by the end of chapter 3. Then in the last chapter the true villain was revealed, Mr. Broody rescued her from certain death, and they lived happily ever after, though I’m hoping not in the creepy house, because upkeep, not to mention taxes, must have been a bitch. Phyllis A. Whitney and Victoria Holt made these stories good. Lesser writers, not so much.

Mostly extinct since the ‘80s or so, the genre has apparently raised its hoary head and risen from the grave to infect the YA shelves. The foggy English moors have become the Oregon coast, the creepy mansion is a creepy boarding school (or a plain old high school, which can be creepy enough), and the brooding older man is a vampire or angel or some other paranormal creature, which makes him decades or even centuries older than the jailbait chick he’s dating. Why these guys keep going back to high school I have no idea. You’d think they’d use eternity to find a cure for AIDS or cancer or something.

The creepiest thing about these books is the message they send to the readers. Girls, it’s okay to act stupid and have no interests of your own, as long as you’ve got a really, really good-looking guy to build your life around. So what if he’s arrogant and demeaning? So what if he treats you like shit? He’s cute. He’s your eternal love. That trumps everything. Anyway, you’ll be living on blood soon, so who needs grocery money?

My book is nothing like that. Hope it doesn’t tank.

I suspect we’re going to be stuck with these neo-gothics until somebody writes the next breakout bestseller and starts another trend. I hope the girl in that one’s smarter and the guy’s not a douchecanoe. Or she can be the dark and brooding older heroine in love with the high school geek. Cougar Gothics! Throw in some steampunk and who knows, I might be on to something.

Looking forward to 2009

2009 is just around the corner, so I've been in planning/goal-setting mode this week. I printed out my blank monthly calendars and filled in the dates with all my writing-related activities -- daily page counts, deadlines, RWA chapter meetings, book signings/author events, travel and blog posts. Since the American Title contest that brought us Title Magicians together focused on paranormal stories, we're going to continue our paranormal theme here. For my part, I'm going to be starting two new series of blogs here next year.

Once a month, I'll be reviewing a book from the paranormal shelf on my brand new bookcase.

Hopefully, this will prompt me to start reading the books faster than I can accumulate them. I don't have room for any more bookcases. There are four in my office already!

And once a month, I'll be blogging about a paranormal/sci-fi movie or TV show. These are among my absolute favorites, so we'll be exploring both old and new stories here -- everything from my Buffy the Vampire Slayer DVD collection to the new X-Men Origins: Wolverine that is set to hit theaters May 1. Here's the awesome trailer, including Hugh Jackman in all his Wolvy goodness. :)




So, I hope you make a point to check the Title Magic blog each Monday-Friday to see what paranormal fun we have in store.