Blog Buffet

Today I'm going to write a bunch of briefies for your reading pleasure. Read them all or sample, it's up to you. That's the upside of a buffet. The downside is that bitch who picks out all the baby corn so you don't get any, and that guy who hogs the chicken wings. Well, he's going to get sick later because the mashed potatoes are past their expiration date. So there.

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A couple blogs back I mentioned that guy who self-published a hard science fiction book called The Martian, which took off like a rocket ship and eventually brought him a movie deal. After I calmed down and got over my jealousy fit, I realized he'd proved a theory of mine. It is possible to make a million bucks a dollar at a time. He created a product, priced it at 99 cents, and got a whole shitload of people to each give him a dollar. Granted, he got a boost towards the end from the Random House hardcover sale and the movie deal, but he was doing just fine on his own before that happened. I don't know if he's earned a full million yet, which was also part of my theory: you won't get the million all at once. It's an accrual process.

The big question now is, what does he do for an encore? It's like being George Lucas after Star Wars. Not that Lucas ever had to work again after Star Wars. I suggest this guy retire, enjoy his good fortune, and write for his own amusement. Which is what led to his success in the first place. Good luck, guy.

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The other day my luck ran out. The odds finally caught up with me. I was in the bathroom and using the handicapped stall when an honest-to-gosh handicapped person came in. There I was, parked in her designated space. I told her to hang on, I'd be right out, then I rushed through pulling up the pants and exited the stall posthaste. She was Mennonite, so I was spared any snide remarks or dirty looks. They're nice people.

I've been using handicapped stalls for years, and this is the first time this has happened. I'm not the only one who does it, either. They're a favorite of moms with small kids, especially if Mom has two or more in tow. Those stalls are nice and roomy. You can take the whole brood in there and keep an eye on them while they do their business. Plus there's the added safety of the bars, which the kids can hang onto or play on while Bro or Sis takes a dump.

I've found the bars good to grab on if I have to strain, and they make standing easier when my knee gives me trouble. Besides, I'm not as skinny as I was at 20. I've been in stalls that are narrow as cattle chutes. I feel like I should come out bucking. I have room to spread out and store my stuff in a handicapped stall. Given the country's obesity epidemic, I say all stalls should be handicapped stalls, so we can all enjoy these advantages.

I don't park in handicapped spaces, though. I like to park next to cart returns. Not only can I just drop off the cart, it makes it easier finding the car. Plus it wouldn't hurt me to walk a few extra steps. Do enough of that and maybe someday I'll be able to fit into a regular stall.

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WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD. Got watching the original '60s version of Planet of the Apes again the other day. This time something finally hit me: it's the only movie in the series where the apes are fully in charge. In the second one there was a group of mutated humans who could still talk and think. They blew up the planet at the end of the movie. Guess the damn dirty apes were right about mankind all along. The last three movies in the original series took place in the past (the moviegoer's present/near future) and showed how the apes came to power. I don't recall ever seeing the last one (Battle for the Planet of the Apes?) but I think some humans were still intelligent at the end of it. When Tim Burton did his remake, humans were repressed, but not mindless, dumb animals. I think there were native, intelligent humans in the TV series, too.

Why? Because we humans are an arrogant bunch, and we don't like watching movies where we're not at the top of the food chain. We want our happy endings, defined as "humans win." That's why Ripley keeps defeating the Aliens, and Arnie made his Terminator character a good guy after he became a big star. In Jurassic Park us hairless monkeys can't even hope for a draw, so the humans keep running away. The dinos always win in the end, but the human characters are still alive.

I blame Star Wars for today's near-extinction of the downer movie ending. More movies coming out of the '60s and '70s had downer endings. I'm not talking bittersweet or mildly hopeful. I'm talking flat-out downer, like the '70s remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Man, I hated the end of that movie. But that was the '70s. That era ended when Jaws and Star Wars raked in the big bucks with high action and triumphant endings. Show me a recent movie that made huge box office while being a total downer. Go ahead, I dare ya. (And not Titanic. Rose survives. That had a bittersweet ending.)

In fact, I challenge anyone to show me an adaptation of Animal Farm that keeps the book's ending intact. I'm not holding my breath.

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Finally, a question arose in the grocery store checkout while I was buying Mrs. Paul's fish fillets. Namely, what does Mr. Paul do? Sit home and drink beer while his wife is out working? There's a possibility Mr. Paul is the Gorton's Fisherman, which means he's out to sea most of the time. I suspect Mrs. Paul is having an affair with Uncle Ben behind Aunt Jemima's back. There's a whole sleazy soap opera going on in the packaged foods aisle. I'd stay away from the canned goods altogether. You don't want to know where the Green Giant's been. Ho ho ho!

Bad

First things first: you folks don’t have to yell at me. No, I did not get a manuscript out on the market or a story uploaded to Amazon. But I am making serious progress. I’ve been averaging two to 2-1/2 pages per day on the Talbot’s Peak novel. That may not sound like much, but for me it’s a lot. More than the occasional page or half a page I generally write. As for the porn, about half of that’s typed onto the laptop. I should have the typing finished by the weekend. Then I can start formatting and look for a cover artist. I’m still waffling on what pen name I’m going to put on it. I may just go for a single name, like Cher or Madonna or Nebuchadnezzar. That way there’s no chance of me duplicating an existing person’s name and landing in legal hot water. All across America the dozen Anita Dicks just heaved sighs of relief.

Best of all, once these two are on their way, I know which one I want to work on next. I’m building momentum! It helps that the weather’s getting colder. I’m less inclined to go ramming around and more inclined to stay in the house and work.

Got the leaves raked, too. I’ve been busy this past week.

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One more quickie before we get to the main topic. I’m reading Stephen King’s new one, Mr. Mercedes, and it’s got That Racially Charged Offensive Word in it. That answers my question about political correctness and censorship. It doesn’t answer the other question: if a newbie author writes a book and uses That Word, will they be told to clean up their prose? I can’t answer that unless it happens to me or until some writer it has happened to contacts me and tells me about it. Therefore, my conclusion is: it’s okay to use offensive language, provided a) you’re writing mainstream fiction, b) your book comes out from a big publisher with a lot of lawyers, and c) you’re already a megaselling author with a huge international following. Granted, I can’t recall ever seeing That Word used as part of a title, so there may be limits in place no matter what your standing.

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And now, at long last, the main event.

The other day a friend sent me an odd book recommendation. It wasn’t the best book she’d ever read. The characters acted in ways that left her going, “WTF?” Which didn’t stop her from finishing it, or reading other books in the series. They are, in the parlance, page turners.

Yeah, I know how that is. I’ve read The Da Vinci Code. And Twilight. And The Firm. Dear Gawd, The Firm. The critic who wrote, “Grisham’s characters give new meaning to the word ‘cardboard,’” hit it right on the nose.

Didn’t matter. I couldn’t stop turning those pages, cardboard characters and all.

There’s a difference between good writing and good storytelling. It’s possible to have one without the other, as many bestsellers have proven. If forced to choose, I’d rather have good storytelling. The story is what really matters, not how well or how poorly it’s written. The story’s why we’re reading in the first place.

I don’t mind bad books, but they have to be good bad books. The ones that have that certain magic something that makes you keep turning the pages. Twilight had it. The Hunger Games had it, along with better writing than Twilight. Stephen King’s books have it by the bucketload. Stevie himself has admitted he’s not the world’s greatest writer. Sometimes he hits the bar, sometimes he misses. But damn, can he tell one hell of a story. Bet that explains why he's popular.

For the movie equivalent, I give you Star Wars. Think about it. Once you get past the rousing score and the special effects, the movie’s not that good. The plot’s older than prostitution. The characters are one-dimensional ciphers. The dialogue is clunky and clichéd. (Harrison Ford reportedly told George Lucas, “You can type this shit, but you can’t say it.”) Lucas himself didn’t think his “little space movie” would amount to anything. When it premiered in Hollywood, he was on vacation in Hawaii.

How many times did you and your buddies see Star Wars back in 1977? In my neighborhood, it packed ‘em in tight enough to play for a solid year. So what if the plot was creaky and the dialogue sucked? Lookit that friggin’ spaceship! That movie had a ton of magic, and we kept going back again and again to bask in its glow.

Imagine doing that in a book. The words and phrases and sentences you use may not be the best you could have picked, but it doesn’t matter. Your intent, your emotions, the magic overwhelms even clumsy word choices. Do it right and the reader won't even notice you. They'll be caught up in the story, even if it’s illogical, or the characters, cardboard though they are. They may throw the book against the wall, but not until after they’ve finished it.

Congratulations. You have just succeeded as a writer.

How do you learn storytelling? Wish I knew. The best you can do is read, read, read. If a book is bad but you can’t put it down, that’s the one you study. If it’s just bad, with no redeeming qualities, well hey, pick a wall.

Remember, even truly bad books have their uses. They’re proof that even crappy prose gets bought and published. If these turds made it onto the shelves, your chances just improved. Happy storytelling!

Do, or Do Not

Good news for me: the logjam that’s been blocking my writing muscle finally loosened up, and I’m back to working on a book. I don’t want to say any more because I don’t want to jinx it. This particular WIP wasn’t high up on my list, but I know it’s the one. Why? Because my mind has starting supplying me with solutions to the problems that caused me to trunk it in the first place. For instance, I knew there had to be a confrontation between the good guy and the bad guy, but the good guy was physically outclassed. He’d have to outthink his opponent. Earlier this week I figured out how he does it. Now I’ve got ideas for scenes I can use to set up the climactic fight scene while also building the relationship between the characters and furthering the story. Damn, I’m good.

Best of all, an abused animal now gets to take on-screen revenge on the bad guy. That’ll make Savanna happy. Wins all around!

This book is part of our shared universe, so it’ll have to be self-published. That’s not a problem any more. I’ve already practiced formatting, though I didn’t upload. I’m saving that step for the porn. We’ve got two members in the group who do covers, so that’s, um, covered too.

Now all I have to do is type the porn draft into the laptop, format it, come up with a blurb that’s not too dirty, commission a cover, and upload. I’ve kind of been dragging my feet on these small but vital tasks. Procrastinating, in other words. That’s the one thing I’m really good at.

Trouble is, procrastination doesn’t put food on the table or bucks in my wallet. I’m going to have to put off the putting off, get the butt in gear, and actually do something.

This goes back to my mini-lecture of some weeks back, on how to go about getting a million dollars. What I said then still holds true: you have to work. Whether it’s for a paycheck or for your own benefit, eighty hours a week or forty or two, you have to work. It’s better to work smart than work hard, but “work” is still the operative verb in that sentence. Wishing and whining won’t cut it. Action is the only thing that will.

You have to create your product. You have to advertise it. You have to do market research, connect with your customers, find new customers and keep former ones interested. You have to stay alert for trends and changes in the market. If you’re not so good at one of these steps, you’d better find and hire somebody who is. Businesses won’t grow on their own. They have to be nurtured and maintained. To keep them going, you can’t just sit behind a desk and give orders. You have to do.

When you’re a writer, most of this is on you. You can hire an agent to market for you (recommended if you’re aiming for Big 5 publishing), and I suppose you could hire someone to do your promo for you (you think Stephen King ever stops by his own web site?), but most of the other stuff, especially creation of the product, is all in your lap, bunky. No writee, no money. It’s as simple as that.

I know what I need to do to translate my words into money. And I do do these things eventually. I’m still not the best at promo. I need to rectify that. I also need to knock off the put-offery and just sit down and do stuff. Like writing the stories, for starters.

I don’t know what’s holding me back. Maybe I’ve got a subconscious fear of success or something. Maybe I’m just plain lazy. Should I be calling Dr. Phil?

I don’t have much faith in Dr. Phil. Yoda said it better anyway. There is no try. Try is for procrastinators, lazy asses and losers. Do, or do not.

Because doing things is the only way things get done. When things get done and done right, you benefit from it. Your life gets better and you’re happier. You get to buy that car you want, and keep up the rent on your apartment—or even buy a house!—and food shows up on your plate on a regular basis and it ain’t just Ramen noodles, either. I like it when I can eat regular meals, and I enjoy having a car. And the rent is always due. This is what’s known as motivation.

I’m doing the right things, just not often enough. I’m working on fixing that. Starting with me getting back to finishing the draft of that book. I can work on self-pubbing the porn while my deathless prose cools off. I’m going to have at least one new story on the market before October’s over, see if I don’t.

Here’s what I want you folks to do: hold me to that. If I don’t have a draft finished or something up on Amazon by the end of the month, come here and yell at me. Make me feel like a lazy slug so I’ll get angry and do something other than watch TV. In return … well, I really can’t offer anything except something new for you to read. Best I can do. If you want cupcakes, go motivate a baker.

Hmmm … November’s coming up. National Write a Novel in a Month month. Do I dare … ? I’d better think about that one. Really, really hard.

The Unwritten Rules

The other day this writer I know got an interesting revision request from her publisher. They asked her to rework a scene so that her heroine doesn’t “throw the first punch,” as the situation was described. Apparently good girl romance heroines are allowed to finish a fight, but not start one. I’m sure it has something to do with keeping the character sympathetic to the readers.

Frankly, I’m surprised. I thought the unwritten rules had changed, as society has changed over the decades. Guess not.

If you’ve ever watched a 1950s Western movie, or a cop or PI TV show from the 1980s or before, you know the unofficial “rules” I’m talking about. The good guys are good. They never kill. They’re incorruptible. If they’re PIs, they don’t take money from a client if she’s young and pretty and helpless. Above all, they never, ever shoot first, not even to save their own lives. They can’t fire their fancy weapons unless and until the bad guy shoots at them. That makes it self-defense, and the good guy’s upstanding morality remains intact.

In fact, next time you watch one of these shows, check to see if the climactic fight scene takes place on a rooftop or bridge or cliff or somewhere else high up. That’s so the bad guy can slip and fall to his death. Problem solved, hero’s hands still clean. Karma’s a bitch, especially on network television.

Of course, society as a whole isn’t like that any more, if it ever was. It’s okay now for heroes to make pre-emptive strikes, whether it’s with a fist or a bullet. I think we have Clint Eastwood and Dirty Harry to thank for that, but that’s just my personal theory. It should be okay now for a lady to haul off and slug her bitchy, two-faced rival and still remain a lady. Fess up: how many of you moviegoers cheered when Hermione finally gave Draco the crack in the snoot he had coming in that one Harry Potter flick? Show of hands.

Now we see the rules are still in place, at least in romance novels. The girl can still defend herself, but she has to be provoked. No starting fights, young lady! If you do, the boys won’t like you. And neither will the readers, apparently. Man, would Buffy have had a tough time with that restriction.

Though come to think of it, she only started fights with monsters. Left alone, they would have killed innocent people. I guess that makes it okay.

Or maybe not. I need another show of hands. How many folks remember the original Star Wars from 1977? Compare it to the retooled ‘90s version. Han and Greedo. You know the scene I mean. George, you can try to whitewash it all you like, but I’ve still got my original VHS tape and so do a lot of other people. We know the truth. Han shot first. He murdered Greedo in cold blood. Sure, if he’d hesitated even a second Greedo would have killed him, but that’s beside the point. Over the decades Star Wars has become a classic, popular with kids. Little kids. Thought George, “We’ve got to clean this up so even the shady heroes are still heroes.” So now Greedo shoots first—at close range!—and Han kills him in self-defense. Or maybe Greedo only had a flesh wound, and he gets up and limps away after Han leaves. I’m surprised George didn’t include that in his re-imagining.

George should take another look at these kids he’s trying to shield. A lot of young kids like Wolverine. How many people has Wolverine unapologetically slaughtered during his career? It hasn’t affected his popularity. Maybe it’s because Wolverine doesn’t use a gun. He just slices people up with his freaky claws. Since people don’t have freaky claws in real life, I guess that makes it okay.

I don’t know what this editorial mandate says about romance novel heroines, or the publishers’ attitudes toward their readers’ sensibilities. Somebody somewhere must believe proactive behavior by a romance FMC is unacceptable, hence the rewrite request.

So what’s a girl to do? I recommend she lead the bad guy to some place real high up, and let karma take its course. Or else start dating Wolverine. It’s okay for the hero to kill the bad guy if he’s protecting the heroine. Wonder if the man is allowed to throw the first punch?

Dammit, now I’m stuck. For one of my WIPs I’d planned on having the girl fight off the abusive bad guy. She throws the first punch. She’s totally justified, but do I have to rethink that now? And now that I think about it, I think the bad guy gets defeated by the physically-smaller hero when the hero tricks him into falling off a ledge. I’d better rethink that, too.

I’m okay on the other WIP. The bad guy gets his at the hands/tentacles of other-dimensional monsters. Karma, gotta love it.

The Worst Job There Is

When it comes to jobs, what could possibly be bad about writing? You work from home. You set your own hours. You can put in your eight hours or whatever on the back porch or in front of the TV or in bed in your jammies. Sure, the pay might not always be the best and it’s kind of hit or miss. Weigh that against having to deal with bad bosses and back-stabbing, gossipy co-workers and money pales in comparison. You get to do what you love in your own time and in a place of your choosing and not have to work for or with jerks. If you work hard and luck runs your way, you can even make a living at it. That’s a better deal than WalMart offers.

Sometimes.

Along with all the genre fiction I’ve read over the years, media tie-in books have found their way into my to-be-read stack on more than one occasion. You know the ones I mean; you’ve seen them on the shelves. Star Trek and Star Wars predominate, and even have whole sections of their own. A lot of popular (or at least cult favorite) TV shows have tie-in novels available. (In the case of Castle, the books are supposedly produced by the show’s writer protagonist.) Some cancelled shows, like Buffy and Smallville, have continued their storylines in comic books. No more dealing with actors demanding raises, and the budget’s limited only by the artist’s imagination.

Now that would be the job to have, if you’ve got a favorite show. No world building, no creating characters. All the heavy lifting’s been done. It would be like writing fan fiction, except you get paid for it. Somebody’s gotta produce these things, right? Why not you and me?

It can turn out to be a lucrative gig. Some publishers consider these books work for hire and only pay a flat fee, but others offer standard advances and royalties. With a built-in fan base and guaranteed sales, even mediocre writers can come out ahead. Your books will reach the shelves and readers’ hands, and money will reach your bank account.

And the books don’t have to be routine, by-the-numbers crap. I can name several Trek novels that are just as well-written and exciting as an original universe book. Timothy Zahn’s initial Star Wars trilogy stands out in this regard. For comic book readers and Buffy fans, I recommend the Angel and Faith series. I was never that big a fan of either of those characters, but I’m enjoying this run even more than the current Buffy comic series. (Summary: Giles is dead. Angel’s trying to resurrect him. Hijinks ensue.) As with any form of fiction, it’s all in the execution.

Then you have the downsides. A lot of these tie-in novels are routine, by-the-numbers crap. That’s not necessarily the writer’s fault. Remember, when you’re playing in somebody else’s sandbox for pay, you have to abide by the homeowner’s rules. That means no slash, you Destiel shippers. No Spock or Data suddenly developing emotions, unless they return to normal by the end of the story. No introducing permanent love interests, or killing main characters, or doing anything that can’t be reversed before the final page. You need to leave the status at quo for the next writer. This can lead to a lot of bland books. I know; I’ve read them.

Back in my SF writing days I briefly had an agent. It didn’t work out in the end, but that’s another blog. While it was working out, I asked him about the possibility of writing a Star Trek novel. I was really into NextGen at the time and had some plot ideas.

His professional advice: okay, if that’s what I really wanted. However, I should make the plot as generic as possible because there was only one market, and if they turned it down I’d have spent a lot of time and effort for nothing. Therefore, I should write a book that could easily be converted to an original-universe novel in case I had to recycle.

That would explain the general suckage of the Trek tie-ins of that period. Also the introduction of so many original characters interacting with the Trek casts. Somebody needed to grow and change and learn by the end of the book, since that was off-limits for the regulars.

You think that’s bad, try writing a book, or a comic series, while the TV show is still on. Months of writing and dramatic buildup can be negated by next week’s episode. I saw this happen a couple of times in DC’s Star Trek comic series. The early Marvel Star Wars comics had it even worse. No Luke vs. Darth confrontations or exploring the Luke-Leia-Han triangle or any good stuff like that. No anything until after the next movie came out. Somehow Marvel and DC managed to put out entertaining comics under creativity-smothering circumstances. I sure wouldn’t want to be that writer, though.

And that’s why I feel being a tie-in writer tying in to a still-running series has to be the worst job out there. You can’t do anything to shake up the world or the characters, which is the heart of fiction. Every idea you come up with has to be approved by the copyright holders, the studio, the lawyers, and who knows who else. You could see your whole plot air on the CW the night you type The End, or have your book rendered obsolete by the next episode’s plot twist. Or one of the main actors leaves the show (I see a lot of X-Files fan heads nodding out there). Depending on the deal you get with the publisher, the money might not even be that good. That’s assuming you even get a deal. If you don’t, you’re stuck with an unsellable novel. Writing in your favorite TV world may be fun, but you have to ask yourself: is it really worth it?

Luckily for us media fans, there is a way to have our cake and eat it too. That’s fan fiction writing. It’s unsanctioned because no money’s involved, so you can do anything you want. If you make it AU enough, you can even rewrite it as an original book, self-publish, build a huge following, and get picked up by a major publisher. Hasn’t happened to me yet, but I hear it can be done.

Success Story

We’re over a week into the new year and I haven’t broken any resolutions yet. That’s because I didn’t make any. I did promise myself I’d write more, and that’s proving to be a problem. None of the dozen possibles I’ve got listed really wants to be written yet. I’ve picked out two with maybe a third. I’m just going to plunge ahead and hope one of them takes off. Or maybe my brain will get tired of the struggle and throw something unexpected at me. Sooner or later something will hit, but I’m going to have to kick it loose.

Naturally I try to make any book as good as I can write it, so readers will enjoy it and I can earn some gas and grocery money. We’ll worry about making a living at a later date.

But suppose I get lucky. Suppose the next book of mine that comes out turns out to be the next Twilight or 50 Shades. Stranger things have happened. What would I do if I suddenly had all the money and success we writers dream of?

It’s kind of like playing the lottery. The odds are stacked against you. You buy the ticket, or write the book, hoping this is the one that’s going to win but you don’t really think it’ll happen. That kind of good fortune only happens to others. Then the lottery official reads off the numbers, or your sales figures come in, and all of a sudden you’re George Lucas the weekend after Star Wars opened. Your book is flying off the shelves, your pockets are overflowing with cash and, just like on Cheers, everybody knows your name.

Now what?

On the off chance this ever happens, I sort of have a plan. First off, I’ve getting health insurance. Beyond that, things get hazy. I was considering a move back to New Jersey so I could spend my retirement years on the beach, but after Hurricane Sandy I may have to rethink that one. Maybe I’ll keep the PA home and just rent a place at the shore. Wherever I end up, it’ll have home Internet so I won’t have to rely on library or McDonald’s Wi-Fi any more. After that, we’ll have to see.

The biggest problem I foresee with success is, how would I follow it up? You’ve just directed Star Wars or published Twilight. The eyes of the world are on you to see what you do next. What do you do next? How can you top, or even equal, a global phenomenon? Not to mention the hordes of people out there just waiting for you to stumble. You can see their handiwork in Amazon reviews.

George Lucas did pretty well after Star Wars, if one ignores Howard the Duck. Stephenie Meyer and Suzanne Collins appear to have survived the success of their series. J. K. Rowling wrote a novel for grown-ups, though there are rumors she may return to the cash cow that is the Harry Potter universe. E. L. James has mentioned rewriting 50 Shades from Christian’s perspective. If it ain’t broke …

To answer the question: you can’t. Success of the Star Wars or Twilight or 50 Shades variety is an aberration. It happens once in a lifetime. Maybe it’ll happen once in your lifetime. You bank or invest the money, buy your aging mom a house, and then move on. Chances are the money won’t be as big as we all think it is anyway. Suzanne Collins said in an interview she hasn’t seen that big of a change in the family finances post Hunger Games because of her publisher’s payment schedule. Plus Uncle Sam will have his hand out before you even get your first check. By all means, shoot for megasuccess. Just remember you’ve been warned.

Given my luck, if this level of success hits me at all it’ll happen with a book that doesn’t have my name on it, some throwaway written under a pseudonym. I’m good with that. Then all the attention and pressure and demands for a follow-up will fall on that non-existent other writer, leaving me free to go on with my life, although with financial stability. Or if I do hit it big as me, I’ll just change my name. Then I can go out on top. Five years later people will wonder, “Whatever happened to that woman who wrote ______?” She’s out on a beach in New Jersey, writing books under other names and taking aimless road trips without having to worry about the price of gas.

Oh, right. First I have to write the book that’ll bring me that success. That’s always the hardest part. And what would you do if the Success Fairy conked you over the head with her wand? It could happen any time, so be ready. Happy writing!

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PS to Solara: Sorry, I wasn't going to post this week but then this subject hit. For anyone reading this, scroll down to the previous post and read my interview with Solara Gordon, then check out her new release, Hot for Torrey. I wish someone I knew would get rich and famous so I could blackmail them. It would save me a lot of hard work.