True Confessions

It’s another one of those weeks. I don’t have a topic for today. I just typed 600 words about the days when the September premiere of the new TV season actually mattered, then deleted it because it sucked. Now I have nothing to blog about. Although that’s never stopped me before.

To take up space, I’ve decided to bare my soul. I just hope Serena forgives me.

First, background. If you drop in here even sporadically, you’ll have figured out by now that I’m obsessed with the show Supernatural. I’ve got three of the seasons on disk. I watch the reruns on TNT. I read the occasional fanfic. I’m hiding filthy, fan-made (at least I hope they are) pics of the stars on my computer. And I’ve written so many stories “starring” the actors, it’s easier to list the books that don’t have them as characters than it is the ones that do.

In fact, I’ll have another story coming out shortly, under a different name and from a different publisher, but with the same familiar faces. This one’s Destiel. That’s Dean and Castiel getting it on, for those of you unfamiliar with the show. I’ve got a whole series of those planned, if I can get myself to sit at the computer.

All this in spite of—hold on, Serena, here it comes—

Jensen Ackles does nothing for me. Nada. Nothing at all.

I don’t know why. He’s cute. He can act, when given good material. He’s demonstrated a flair for comedy. I’d love to see him in a romcom. I have no doubts he could pull it off. There’s a rumor he was up for the role of Captain America. Bet he could have batted that one out of the park as well.

But a sex symbol? For millions of fangirls worldwide, maybe. Just don’t count me among them.

Here’s my true confession. There was a time when I watched Smallville religiously. If you’re familiar with the 1978 Superman movie, the one with Christopher Reeve, you might agree with this assessment: it’s almost like two separate films. There’s the first part, where Clark’s growing up on the farm, which has its own rhythm and tone. Then he goes to Metropolis and the tone of the movie shifts. Now it’s a superhero comic-book movie. I always wanted to see the movie that went with the first part. Smallville, though a TV show, was that movie.

In Season Four Jensen joined the Smallville cast. He was Lana’s boyfriend. Supposedly he was meant to be in Season Five but he got the Supernatural gig so they had to kill off his character.

I watched every episode of Smallville Season Four. I remember a lot of the stories and some of the scenes. I watched a few minutes of Supernatural when it debuted, and tuned in sporadically until I got hooked by Season Five. I knew Jensen had gone directly from Smallville to his new job, but I didn’t watch the show to see him. In fact, I have no memories whatsoever of Jensen on Smallville.

I know intellectually he was on there. I watched the show. But I can’t remember him at all. Not one scene. It’s like my brain was scrubbed Jensen-free. He made absolutely no impression on me.

About a year or so ago I got Smallville Season Four from the library and binge-watched it. I remembered a lot of the plots clearly. It was a pretty good season, overall. But Jensen? Nope. Still a blank. It could have been any actor filling that space and saying those lines. He was just another piece of set dressing.

To be fair, I was never that into Tom Welling, either, and he was the star of the show. Ditto for William Shatner on Star Trek. Kirk was the designated sex symbol, but not in my opinion. Ten-year-old me was busy lusting after Spock. At least I could remember Shatner being on the show.

I may have been similarly distracted during Smallville as well. At the time I had a serious double crush on Michael Rosenbaum and John Glover (Lex and Lionel Luthor, respectively). They had on-screen presence. They got the good lines and the meaty storylines. Next to them, even Tom Welling risked getting shoved into the background. No wonder Jensen faded from my inner view.

It’s gotten a little better, but not much. Dean Winchester is a far better character than What’shisname on Smallville, but to me Dean’s just the guy standing next to Sam and Castiel. Castiel is the reason I became obsessed with the show. I fell in love with him in two episodes. But then, I’ve always been drawn to the offbeat characters. And tall guys, which explains my Sam fixation.

Maybe that’s Jensen’s problem. He’s a generic pretty boy. Throw a stick at any beach in California and you’ll hit ten of him. He’s finally got a role with some meat on it, which might have made him interesting to me if it wasn’t for Misha and Jared. I'm so busy staring at them, it's easy to forget Jensen's there.

Now, Dean’s interactions with Sam, or his (ahem) relationship with Castiel, those are plot generators. Those are the stories I’ve been writing. And it still hasn’t worked. The one I’m trying to finish right now has Dean and Cas in it. Dean is presented as the ultimate sex partner. The character who threatened to take over the story? Crowley. I seriously need to rethink my priorities.