Redefining Sexy – Going Beyond the Physical

Rock hard abs, chiseled features, flawless skin, and unnaturally perfect features. These days, the media has helped to shape the belief that sexiness is all about looks. Matthew McConaughey flaunts his six pack abs and gets named sexiest man of year. Halle Berry’s six zero waist, luscious curves, and flawless features makes her one of the sexiest women in Hollywood. The need to be sexy has led to 12 and 13 year old girls imitating Britney Spears in her prior years, wearing low-cut jeans and flaunting too much skin. The search for perfection has lead to a dramatic increase in plastic surgery in the past decade – recently showing a shocking increase among teenagers and young adults.

Why is it that we are programmed to think beauty is only skin deep? Take a Victoria Secret model. Sexy? Of course! Now, keeping her looks intact, remove her flawless grace and make her extremely clumsy. Added to that, take her self-confidence down a notch. Still sexy? Not really. Cute, yes.

Here’s another take. Give a Victoria Secret model the attitude from hell. She knows she’s all that and a bag of chips, and everyone else can take their opinion and shove it. Janice Dickinson’s attitude can’t touch hers. Sexy now? No way!

So really then, what is sexy? Certainly not the rock hard abs and flawless features that we, as a society, have come to worship.

Last month, I was at Best Buy getting my computer repaired by the Geek Squad. Just the name shouts, “Not sexy!” The guy that was helping me out was your typical Geek Squad attendee – late teens to very early twenties, about 5’3”, curly hair and glasses, probably weighed 115 soaking wet. I wouldn’t have given him a second glance. And then something amazing happened. I watched as every sales associate, and those of his Geek Squad colleagues, kept coming to him with questions or problems. This guy not only knew all the answers, but was able to handle 2-3 problems being thrown at him without showing any hint of stress, impatience, or irritation. What’s more, he handled everything with a smile and confidence. Watching him work and interact with his environment, I thought to myself, “Man, if only I was a bit younger.”

There is something incredibly sexy about a person who knows what he or she’s about. Sexiness is not about physical attributes, but about attitude and how a person carries himself. It is the show of self-confidence without being boastful or arrogant.

We may think we idolize stars because they are beautiful, but we really don’t. Victoria Secret models are sexy because they appear graceful and confident on the runway, and because of the self confidence that exudes in their ads. We fall in love with celebrities because of the characters they portray onscreen and on stage. These characters are often strong and confident. It has nothing to do with the actual stars, whose lives are oftentimes less glamorous than we believe them to be. Take a look at Whitney Houston, for example. When she sings and is on stage and made up, she’s stunning. Her voice and confidence is unmatched. But it’s only a character she plays on stage. The real Whitney … well, you’ve seen enough of her face plastered in the tabloids alongside charges of addiction to know that being Whitney Houston isn’t as glamorous or sexy as it appears to be.

Shahrukh Khan (who goes by the title of King of Bollywood and is probably one of, if not the most, influential Indian celebrity in the world) was asked which of his colleague actresses he thought was the sexiest. His response? “Kajol, because she is genuine and passionate about life, and doesn’t even know how beautiful she truly is both inside and out. That is sexy.” If you know anything about Bollywood, you’ll know there are actresses far more beautiful and loads sexier than Kajol. But what Shahrukh said has merit and shows how truly enlightened he is, and that he’s past the superficial. Shown here is a photo of Bollywood actor, Shahrukh Khan, with actress, Kajol.

Take a look at some of your favorite characters in books, especially the heroes. What makes him memorable? Why is he sexy? You’ll find that it’s not because of his manly looks, but because of the way he treats others (especially the heroine), and because of the way he acts, the decision he makes, and the actions that follow.